Twilight; New Moon

This is the Zodiac speaking...
I wrote this post for another site I work on, no, work requires getting paid, I contribute to, Americashobbies.com. Because of the way the site is set up at the moment, no one, other than members, can read my post, so I thought it would be a good idea to copy and paste my thoughts over here, where everyone can, but won't, read it. I can't stress enough how much I want everyone to comment on this. I need validation, even if it is negative, which it probably will be. Enjoy.

Twilight; New Moon (2009)
First things first, I need to tell you why I went to see this movie, in theaters no doubt, when I have such an aversion to them. My brother and his wife came down from Kansas and we all decided to go to the movies. Two of my brothers decided to go watch 2012, a horrible apocalyptic look at the end of the world, according to the Mayans, in which the over-rated, under-acting John Cusak survives to annoy me with his smugness in other films. My sister in law, who for some reason doesn't really care for me, I know I'm quite lovable, I don't get it either, wanted to watch New Moon again, so I decided that to metaphorically mend some fences, I would go watch it with her. I, like you heterosexual readers, thought that twilight was nothing but harlequin for middle aged housewives and teenage girls staring vampires instead of pirates, but let me tell you how wrong I was. This movie was excellent! It starts off with Bella, a pretty emo chick who has acting depressed down to a T, feeling bad about something, probably her relationship with Edward the gay vampire. He sparkles in the sunlight and looks brooding throughout, very sexy. He loves Bella so much that he decides it is best if he leaves for some reason, some reason I can't seem to recall just this moment, but that just leaves Bella home alone with the dog boy Jacob, who is also in love with her. Jacob finds out that he is a dog like other members of his tribe and spends his days taking his shirt off and hitting on Bella. Bella is sad that Edward has left decides to kill herself because she thinks he is dead, or something, it's all kinda fuzzy except the parts with the guys walking around shirtless. Romeo thinks that Juliet is dead so he decides he needs to kill himself by going to Rome and telling the red eyed vampires to kill him, and if they won't then Romeo will go walk into the sun were everyone will see him sparkle and know he is a vampire(?) Then the red eyes will have to kill him to protect their secrets. Juliet finds out about this and runs to fair Verona to tell Romeo that she is not dead because phones don't work with vampires, kind of like mirrors. Juliet appears just in time and saves Romeo from sparkling, naturally the house of Montague doesn't like that a Capulet knows that they are vampires and tell Romeo that Juliet will either be turned into a vampire, or die. I seemed to remember at the end of the book both star-cross'd lover died, but thus is cinema. They go back to Washington, or Oregon, or wherever it is that the sun never shines and naturally Count Paris the dog faced boy doesn't really like that his Juliet loves another. The dog and the gay fight but stop cause Juliet starts to cry, just like during the entire movie, and that is all until the next movie.
The pure emotional conflict felt throughout this movie tugged at my heart strings, I didn't realize it was possible to feel so much for the characters on the screen. Bravo Mr. Shakespeare for teaching me about love and tragedy. Truly a classic for the ages and fun for the whole family! This movie get my highest rating ever for a non-Kubrick film: seventeen thumbs up.