tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11764687112313821902024-02-19T10:22:02.738-07:00ZODIAC'S WORDZodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-73211811803032820672011-11-21T23:43:00.002-07:002011-11-21T23:43:52.401-07:00Absent... without an expalnationThis is the Zodiac speaking...Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-13499184405804435002011-09-19T05:11:00.000-06:002011-09-19T05:11:06.499-06:00Back... With a Vengeance!This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />
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I've had plenty of time to work on this post, considering it's been over a month since I've written anything, And before I even start I want to say that it'll be a bit of a departure. Normally I write about whatever dumbass movie I just watched, or pander shamelessly about whatever actresses' tits happen to be arousing me at the moment.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA3lkO5SgttJeGKBPi70qUuSVHzv8V8er-cbu1uC65ZetwrU0A5ESOOpu2stjJd-PJJiP56Myrba4jPhOIdE6Dn10ZCFrRfL5mffS_N79xRQSKaI3wUccawQnO1m_lQPdjt1uwilgR6nEg/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA3lkO5SgttJeGKBPi70qUuSVHzv8V8er-cbu1uC65ZetwrU0A5ESOOpu2stjJd-PJJiP56Myrba4jPhOIdE6Dn10ZCFrRfL5mffS_N79xRQSKaI3wUccawQnO1m_lQPdjt1uwilgR6nEg/s320/aa.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I can be topical. </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bad puns aside, I also feel the need to apologize for my last post. I kinda went off there, and I'm sorry. Thank you for accepting my apology. I felt the need to post something, anything, and had nothing I really wanted to say. So I took the easy way out and blamed others for my shortcomings. Looking your way Pat. With that aside, let's get on with what I normally don't do but for some reason feel the need to do now.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrJkAaOJ3SiIaR5WQUxIfjpMDXi3SIuKns43k70svgGlIe_tB0TqApXgjDn44PzCxA4JvlH8m8sBXtbHo6kaW6vRdlH9PCJB_6WWF79EYNURBBWWICq-o-KiD8hE3-0PTkX62C7O5eo-d/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrJkAaOJ3SiIaR5WQUxIfjpMDXi3SIuKns43k70svgGlIe_tB0TqApXgjDn44PzCxA4JvlH8m8sBXtbHo6kaW6vRdlH9PCJB_6WWF79EYNURBBWWICq-o-KiD8hE3-0PTkX62C7O5eo-d/s320/a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm really worried you won't like what I'm about </span></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">to write.</span></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was born, I grew up... sort of. Meaning that I've technically reached maturity, post pubescence, I've got hair on my nuts. As an unemployed 22 year old still living with my mother, I'd say that I still had some growing to do, psychologically, not physically, can't stress this enough. My penis is not large, but I would say that it is an adequate length for an adult male, I can vote, though chose not to. I spend most of my time playing video games, reading comics, and cruising the Internet for porn.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">If it isn't quite obvious yet, I tend to shun the outside world. I'm not agoraphobic or anything, I just have an intense disgust for people. I can't pinpoint any time in my development that caused my aversion to the sloven huddled masses. I've never been the victim of a random crime, I've never been publicly humiliated, I've never even been molested by a street performer, under the bridge that one summer when I was thirteen, who later turned out to be my uncle. Never happened, that's what I tell myself.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm not a shut in. Couldn't be one if I wanted. That lazy bitch I call "Mother" makes me run errands for her all the time. I have to do the grocery shopping, pick up the laundry, all the while taking the bus wherever I need to go 'cause she "needs" the car to go back and forth to her two jobs. I wish dad hadn't killed himself, mom complained a lot less when he was around. It was on one of these excursions that my life was forever altered.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">A typical fall day, the leaves hadn't changed, but there was a slight nip in the air, causing me to wear my new plaid scarf. I don't usually sport neck wear so early into the fall but I'd recently noticed a sniffle upon waking, and was going to be damned if was going to catch cold. A cold is a virus, there is no stopping that shit, all you can do is wait it out. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I had taken the number 29 bus, as I was want to do on days I needed to go to the grocer, and had arrived at McMillan street without event. I prefer to shop at the Try-N-Save on McMillan as opposed to the Big Buy over on Landry, it's usually less crowded and I like the clerks there better, less judgmental. I suppose that's what you get when you pay them above minimum wage, sure the cost is pushed back on the consumer, but I'm willing to pay and extra five cents for kiwi's if it means that I'm not going to be ogled by some high school dropout who's dreams ended when her boyfriend said "Just let me put the tip in." Mother doesn't like when I shop there because it puts us "over budget," but seeing as how I'm picking up her necessities, like Vodka, I have a little bit of room for my indulgences.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">At check out, while the potentially attractive register jockey avoided eye contact, is it that her eye shadow was smeared from crying on her lunch break or the greasy, lazy ponytail that gave the impression that she is in a long term relationship and just stopped caring, I bet she cleans up nice, if she tried, a man came up from behind and struck me with his cart. I don't mean he bumped into me, or just clipped my foot. The fucker hit me with his cart, in the back, hard enough to cause my head to snap backwards, like if this would have happened in a vehicle, I'd need to go to the hospital to be treated for whiplash, which we all know is just a bullshit ailment, but it looks good when the insurance companies offer up a settlement, that's how I got my PlayStation 3. Quickly assessing the lack of insurance in this situation, I turned around to confront my attacker.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">With an indignant, "What the fuck?" I apparently crossed a line. The man standing before me was some sort of hulking mongoloid, saying that he had obvious pituitary issues would be an understatement. A quick assessment of his appearance led me to believe that he had spent some time in prison, it might have been the dead look in his eyes, or the WHITE POWER tattoo where his eyebrows should have been, there was something there that read recently caged. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He offered nothing in the way of an apology, in fact he never spoke, the cold, dead, prison glare never changed not even as he beat me unmerciful. Something snapped inside this mountain of a man, and something snapped inside of me, from the pain I believe it to be a rib. Not having the wherewithal, or ability, to defend myself from the nonstop barrage of swastika covered fists, I looked in vain at my once pretty check out girl, rendered incapacitated by the sure terror of the beating I was receiving, or perhaps enchanted by the slow motion arc one of my teeth took as it flew threw the air and danced across the red lights emitted by the scanner.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">While the beating continued ad infinitum, I kept praying to the God I claim in agreeable times doesn't exist, hoping for the sweet release of unconsciousness, but I remained surprisingly lucid. My left eye swelled shut almost instantaneously, preventing me from seeing the canned hams my assailant calls fists come crashing down upon my shattered skull, the only indication that I was alert enough to receive was a tugging on my neck from my scarf as he raised my head for a better leveraged punch. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then it stopped. As inexplicably as it started, he stopped, no one tried to intervene on my behalf, no threats of possible impending police intervention were shouted, I'm not entirely sure if the police were even called until after he left. I like to think that somewhere around punch thirty, he happened to catch a glimpse of his watch and said "Shit, Roadhouse starts on TNT in five minutes, I better go." Whatever the reason, he lifted his knee off my chest and paused to admire the Pollockesque painting he'd created across the filthy grocery store tile with my teeth and blood, then walked away, leaving his cart full of beef jerky, Molsen light, and the latest issue of mini trucker magazine, which he had just grabbed at the check out, probably while trying to shove the cart up my ass.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here is where the spectacular shows up. A little background about the area I live in first; we have a nuclear site about thirty miles from here. Recently, a large group of unemployed were hired by a outside contractor to clean up old waste that had been buried. This created employment for three years for a certain few. Not me however, my mother forced me to apply but I got so nervous during the interview that when they asked me my name I threw up, needless to say, I failed to get the job. This was three years ago, and a couple of months ago, all these young men, who'd been exposed to radiation for forty hours a week, were unceremoniously let go. We all know that unemployment doesn't pay worth a damn, so some of these virile young men, started to sell blood.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">When the paramedics finally arrived, it became painfully obvious that I was in need of lots of blood. So much so that it preceded the attachment of the neck brace, after all, what does it matter if I'm paralyzed, if I die from blood loss. Gathering up all the pieces that had been so spectacularly beaten off of me, I was hurriedly rushed to the local hospital where I was put back together just a pretty as before, which isn't saying much, and given the correct amount of that life giving tonic that I hereby refer to as blood.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Let me introduce you to one Mr. Robert Williamson. He was the twenty fifth person out of twenty five hired to aid in the cleanup of buried toxic waste, I like to think that he got the job that would've been mine had I not had such a nervous stomach. This is where we blur the lines of the comic books that I'm so fond of. I've often read about the venomous spider bite, or the occasional Gamma Ray accident, but never a superhero created through a blood transfusion. I received no less than five pints of blood that once belonged to Mr. Williamson. Three years of radiation cleanup had quite the effect upon him, and on me.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It turns out that all that steady employment fed his heroin addiction, and when he was laid off, he took to selling his blood to feed the dragon, blood that later went into my veins. Now I spend everyday fighting supervillians, such as staphylococcus, pneumonia, and the common cold virus. The motherfucker gave me AIDS.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I don't leave the house anymore, I don't want anything to do with your outside world. Although, now, I always wear my scarf. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></i></div>Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-21639605234459622982011-07-28T22:58:00.000-06:002011-07-28T22:58:49.756-06:00BusyThis is the Zodiac speaking...<br />
I've been busy as shit lately and haven't had a chance to post anything new.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKJ26liJAjQ9a5kqDBeRl0hY_dNi9vsq8j0e_5cP3dLkT0K6nxY63UjChyphenhyphen5WtUvDPA647foifywKSmx9g3KJe-aBnfqboGz0i3kLn_uDMRdvP3aACmp7zysoXf02fZ0i_AvesoEcEEqKSh/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKJ26liJAjQ9a5kqDBeRl0hY_dNi9vsq8j0e_5cP3dLkT0K6nxY63UjChyphenhyphen5WtUvDPA647foifywKSmx9g3KJe-aBnfqboGz0i3kLn_uDMRdvP3aACmp7zysoXf02fZ0i_AvesoEcEEqKSh/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Or any funny pictures</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I can't even find the time to follow the format I set up. I've still be able to watch movies, just not finding the time to write out a cynnical review, even as I write this I should be sleeping cause I need to wake up early in the morning for work, not all of us get to be "kept" housewives who have nothing better to do than sit at home and write to the world, who really gives less of a shit about your musings about what "cute" thing your spawn said today. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0VtYSLz2Ms79Z3g-eQE_dSyUUiQSCSR0QkOjLVaEegPxkJBgF54GAZILs7PBCAK-p70o644U5aZrQVqvAlNWsb5o2k9klAT7hkuyJLlBE85akgNEuOhUIUa758z-fKnYcFin0Hlj5iDO/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0VtYSLz2Ms79Z3g-eQE_dSyUUiQSCSR0QkOjLVaEegPxkJBgF54GAZILs7PBCAK-p70o644U5aZrQVqvAlNWsb5o2k9klAT7hkuyJLlBE85akgNEuOhUIUa758z-fKnYcFin0Hlj5iDO/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">"I Fucking hate you mom!"</span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes, yes, we all hate you. I know I'm coming across like an ass here and fully admit that I am. In a couple of days, or months the way I'm going, I might apologize to all you housewives out there and just come out and admit that I'm just jealous. But considering how often I get comments, not likely that there will be anyone who will complain.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgewkxko1XVewpBNQAvMYO6zEFzgoikJH6_r3uqokQSlb7Dkt-nvQ5jAuIrQzEyILfS1iyJP1fccYxBRT76PNUPMlGlkMMs8laHOlSFtYN2CX0f0qG8C9K3aAqipXwe3NySw6dG1klQEu1Z/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgewkxko1XVewpBNQAvMYO6zEFzgoikJH6_r3uqokQSlb7Dkt-nvQ5jAuIrQzEyILfS1iyJP1fccYxBRT76PNUPMlGlkMMs8laHOlSFtYN2CX0f0qG8C9K3aAqipXwe3NySw6dG1klQEu1Z/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Could be I've been distracted by all this debt ceiling shit, but that's not very likely. Would be more likely if I were to tell you I've been trying to keep up with all the goings on in football so I can get my shit together in time for my fantasy draft. That's part of it.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbgbHVyDBggcY74FOSUU3YmQR82705nnD5-6o1tj0pq0PT0RmYJW0jID0CKQqVwaGqr3Um8ebKg_KgukWsJA3wI033_8q8p9sFr8Dl97R2P5rNkkELvB0-lE1zKonazrqKSmdfvBtRo-2a/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbgbHVyDBggcY74FOSUU3YmQR82705nnD5-6o1tj0pq0PT0RmYJW0jID0CKQqVwaGqr3Um8ebKg_KgukWsJA3wI033_8q8p9sFr8Dl97R2P5rNkkELvB0-lE1zKonazrqKSmdfvBtRo-2a/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i>Poor bastard just got traded to the Lions</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whatever the hell this is<b> </b>I really don't know. I guess I just felt the need to post something, anything, even a whiney shitty post such as this. Maybe soon I'll be back to my old self and will return to talking about how shitty a Jerry Brukheimer movie staring John Wayne would be. More likely, I'll just post some more filler bullshit like this and make more empty promises.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjenhgtkxweBWmB_SPoCE-uUgJR6V285uBtr9HaJmP-chdAo7xiD0kLL8DE4wkQvNDvW9tnMcinWCRxNZbCWFxWuzBmHzGzJioE28pYQ8WITLuPGNOpK3fOh6dPN3wiAZrYGjDQVN7OLIV8/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjenhgtkxweBWmB_SPoCE-uUgJR6V285uBtr9HaJmP-chdAo7xiD0kLL8DE4wkQvNDvW9tnMcinWCRxNZbCWFxWuzBmHzGzJioE28pYQ8WITLuPGNOpK3fOh6dPN3wiAZrYGjDQVN7OLIV8/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>You couldn't pay me enough, well, I guess you could.</i></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>But it would take the last good part of my soul. </i></span></span><i> </i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-55181303008447534732011-06-27T03:06:00.000-06:002011-06-27T03:08:20.702-06:00Thank you Coen brothers<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/06/thank-you-coen-brothers.html";digg_title = "Thank you Coen brothers";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>I've written in other posts about how much respect I have for Joel and Ethan Coen as filmmakers, I've also voiced my disdain for a certain old time "screen legend," a term a use very loosely.<br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsMnVWL4bkR2JdAePWuVoop_NFIxtZ2ww8VTdP7m9lHJjtcy97ITOZ_fdixkAkre4TVXZu9FULDOAhbJ4WTHfmm2XZ1prDrUC1m21hx0zHXb4KSY0Xym9rnB62LBGWWTVxYWfdop94TMF/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsMnVWL4bkR2JdAePWuVoop_NFIxtZ2ww8VTdP7m9lHJjtcy97ITOZ_fdixkAkre4TVXZu9FULDOAhbJ4WTHfmm2XZ1prDrUC1m21hx0zHXb4KSY0Xym9rnB62LBGWWTVxYWfdop94TMF/s320/a.jpg" width="320" height="257"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Looser than his definition of acting</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Of course I was aware that the Coen Brothers were remaking a John Wayne classic in the form of True Grit, I read Entertainment Weekly after all, and I was also aware from the uneducated masses that I call friends that this was one of the great John Wayne movies. Feeling like Alex at the Ludovico center whenever I watched any movie with the "actor," there are going to be a lot of quotes in this article, I can feel it, above mentioned, I chose to ignore the original film and wait to see the quality of the remake.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaSafhhJf7bbY_5H9xFtf3wKzKuw0nV_8Mpapsz90Im9WDHstKdSlm5MzSmd3RMuvEHH7TzvaaeQvFixlkHVwqqDoVOSUcjr0FTmNjbulpdSN_Qz9PiLy588mUTactV5UPoOLrxfkOyf7D/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaSafhhJf7bbY_5H9xFtf3wKzKuw0nV_8Mpapsz90Im9WDHstKdSlm5MzSmd3RMuvEHH7TzvaaeQvFixlkHVwqqDoVOSUcjr0FTmNjbulpdSN_Qz9PiLy588mUTactV5UPoOLrxfkOyf7D/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Me during a John Wayne marathon on TBS</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Let me be the first to tell you, oh my brother's, that the Coen brothers blew me out of the water with this film. It was a tight, beautifully shot, amazingly acted story that still survived the acting ability of Matt Damon. I can't see an actor other than Jeff Bridges who could have pulled off the grizzled, broken Rooster Cogburn. I really liked The King's Speech, but the academy really missed the mark this year.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8jOCp7euRxvI-HPEUokhG7ewOcZWElNKLcWM4G3WYzPfQW5aKESOuz012-IT9DogYX93FPseAsnKCDvvlrV1hHbwAO6EIQoxm7cI0NrLUfDKRe-u_D8SJ4_bpNwjQKBQuZ35EmTtVQktx/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8jOCp7euRxvI-HPEUokhG7ewOcZWElNKLcWM4G3WYzPfQW5aKESOuz012-IT9DogYX93FPseAsnKCDvvlrV1hHbwAO6EIQoxm7cI0NrLUfDKRe-u_D8SJ4_bpNwjQKBQuZ35EmTtVQktx/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>It happens more often than you think.</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">It was at this point that I felt it would be remiss of me not to at least try to watch the original and compare the two. Well the first thing I noticed is that the stories are pretty much the same. Mattie hires Rooster to hunt down Tom Chaney. There's a Texas Ranger also after Tom who is hanging out with Lucky Ned Pepper. Even most of the dialog is the same.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXjiCxqq5JBoGuS8sA1MdHaSfWw2s6cEhHVHMs5PZLmzaKyf-kP1iquhNg1Wedt4ByjJqXQEIpzoTppXv8YHPUeotu3b9fzBVY9pe1O9t14rFPRBZlhoYuTphvzihWbXO2TCwgfPEo4DO/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXjiCxqq5JBoGuS8sA1MdHaSfWw2s6cEhHVHMs5PZLmzaKyf-kP1iquhNg1Wedt4ByjJqXQEIpzoTppXv8YHPUeotu3b9fzBVY9pe1O9t14rFPRBZlhoYuTphvzihWbXO2TCwgfPEo4DO/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> </i></span></span></span></span><i>Fill your hand you son-of-a-bitch! </i></span><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><span style="font-size: x-small"></span></i><i></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Even the glowing reviews of the actress' who played Mattie seem quite consistent, one because she's a good actress, the other because the juxtaposition of her costar. So why would a movie that I rave over being so good, come from a film that I will never watch again?</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DYqkeVwE-uZ46Mj4bMUlzqRkv4E20-MTEeSt7-05vFJSTVc7jqr8XVoUtUtpMXtznM1WhOuhZ4pnMOZwl-alilFHQ7NuB1pq8YFslLYMgN3M5qAhyphenhyphenpHCPO8K_71KrAEzkxdWK-HYgxWM/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DYqkeVwE-uZ46Mj4bMUlzqRkv4E20-MTEeSt7-05vFJSTVc7jqr8XVoUtUtpMXtznM1WhOuhZ4pnMOZwl-alilFHQ7NuB1pq8YFslLYMgN3M5qAhyphenhyphenpHCPO8K_71KrAEzkxdWK-HYgxWM/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"></span><i>Oh yeah, that's right</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Just another hearty example that John Wayne is the worst actor to ever be captured on celluloid, and I've seen "The Room." He is especially bad in this film, having to take deep breaths in the middle of lines of dialog, due to his lung cancer. It's got a really bad "Shatner" vibe to it, and unlike with Marion, we can all agree that Shatner ranges somewhere above Keanu Reeves on the acting scale.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPZP3D7Q2fbT3H2GiDZNJO8d1Nh5Ir6GhQCztBYXTjd49NY8fVxBNKwsVdIaOzi42SoMgCFlRwKO8MH43D1fgfJ2DkjU45qhJdr9L61VoDDxe4oJZGHchqRjrA6r6ikKikiRougMyVZhW/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPZP3D7Q2fbT3H2GiDZNJO8d1Nh5Ir6GhQCztBYXTjd49NY8fVxBNKwsVdIaOzi42SoMgCFlRwKO8MH43D1fgfJ2DkjU45qhJdr9L61VoDDxe4oJZGHchqRjrA6r6ikKikiRougMyVZhW/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Act............ing!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">All that this really is is a big fuck you to John Wayne and all those misinformed bastards who still think he's a great actor. It takes innovators like the Coen brothers to remake what the misinformed think is classic cinema and show it's meant to be done. John Wayne became famous because all of our other actors were off fighting in WW2, his level of stardom could be attained by Frankie Muniz if Daniel Day Lewis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and that guy from the Old Spice ads all got drafted and sent to Afghanistan. </span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLJsVMzWeexR8-4OH1M_P9rR1u7ZO9UQgDwJ2EqyBhyWLA9qPlA-1-5JHaqU5uBhZQlZbmWDzQOGz_mUn0AyuONoSQ1_3_q_P0DbcgP42ETDH_ZImf-pDZoy3SfDhDjJ351ulcCF71DZos/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLJsVMzWeexR8-4OH1M_P9rR1u7ZO9UQgDwJ2EqyBhyWLA9qPlA-1-5JHaqU5uBhZQlZbmWDzQOGz_mUn0AyuONoSQ1_3_q_P0DbcgP42ETDH_ZImf-pDZoy3SfDhDjJ351ulcCF71DZos/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Yeah, I can play a cowboy!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">What I'm getting at here is that we need to take all of these old John Wayne "classics," there I go with the parentheses again, and remake them with the ability to put a decent actor in the main role. The story is sound, we just need to tweak the leading man part and viola, box office gold.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2FC1gZPcHQ4hL8lVSvnEpZJzg2oWc53Fhu0E69lMWhISw2PM714C-HvZMlDJ1map8L_RYiMADGSl_YcSxepkxP8qpS4ia0x2wwVbfIrYp0BKW4KD51sq9ip2kjjoDE0mDzhq4TDaqxJrV/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2FC1gZPcHQ4hL8lVSvnEpZJzg2oWc53Fhu0E69lMWhISw2PM714C-HvZMlDJ1map8L_RYiMADGSl_YcSxepkxP8qpS4ia0x2wwVbfIrYp0BKW4KD51sq9ip2kjjoDE0mDzhq4TDaqxJrV/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i>I'm glad you're dead, you undeservedly smug son</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>of a bitch. I really am. </i></span></span><i> </i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-73694330878351407832011-06-19T03:33:00.000-06:002011-06-19T03:35:21.088-06:00Why you shouldn't read books<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/06/why-you-shouldnt-read-books.html";digg_title = "Why you shouldn\'t read books";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />As I mentioned in my last post, I have an incredibly hard time doing only one thing at a time. I watch television when I play video games, I eat while I shit, and I chew gum while I walk.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Ci_iwoW82EoEe2nlJKmN4oc33_t-IvfnLV7z9zgXKacSYozD6zn034PXPxiKkWbJc2IZk9ZlZ03PFCwFOyFCmg8WzHj4TBUTvV756rTK1McF7W-v2SmUUDOXlK3EJxbjGAoSRNOC6inr/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Ci_iwoW82EoEe2nlJKmN4oc33_t-IvfnLV7z9zgXKacSYozD6zn034PXPxiKkWbJc2IZk9ZlZ03PFCwFOyFCmg8WzHj4TBUTvV756rTK1McF7W-v2SmUUDOXlK3EJxbjGAoSRNOC6inr/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Harder than you think.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">In accordance with my constant need for stimulation I have the habit of listening to audio books while I'm at work. For clarification reasons I want you all to know that I only listen to unabridged books, meaning every word of the book is read, as opposed to abridged books, that are shortened, kind of like movies. This is where you all can talk about how an audio book isn't the same as actually reading and puritanical hipster bullshit involving a history lesson about Gutenberg. To all that I say, fuck you and your Kindle.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ2ky9L5aXP4rFhrO4fzgOkstrFpjiUccD8nC_Y732aSfgtcCvUNmP5RgJ6N_uKZeLW-b5gk6eqxeETtjMnfvCg8AvDPVvBS-1YRulBhx1ylc85Tgx4-b3_YWvJrmv_p1w_kZ-SRlcToT3/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ2ky9L5aXP4rFhrO4fzgOkstrFpjiUccD8nC_Y732aSfgtcCvUNmP5RgJ6N_uKZeLW-b5gk6eqxeETtjMnfvCg8AvDPVvBS-1YRulBhx1ylc85Tgx4-b3_YWvJrmv_p1w_kZ-SRlcToT3/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>"I put my Kindle inside a book before it was cool. "</i></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was only a couple of days ago that I finished "The Three Musketeer's" by Alexandre Dumas. It was a mere four hours into the twenty four hours of audio that I began to notice a problem... the story didn't seem to match the movie I had seen. I'm talking about the 1993 Disney movie, with Kiefer Sutherland, Tim Curry, and Charlie "Winning" Sheen playing a priest, perhaps the greatest casting decision ever.</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI8OthD-AyQtPNP7Z81LfsHGbelmiSrtBtW0Zlvr9hgnzfXs_W3ZzAp1yq_b8-twcXMMGimVlqoFgqhCGUNEcKkJxg6YKwFgbFauRwYOxf56hRGpttUE4xnuma4dfcAjsgf_vDzuaBC_Nb/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI8OthD-AyQtPNP7Z81LfsHGbelmiSrtBtW0Zlvr9hgnzfXs_W3ZzAp1yq_b8-twcXMMGimVlqoFgqhCGUNEcKkJxg6YKwFgbFauRwYOxf56hRGpttUE4xnuma4dfcAjsgf_vDzuaBC_Nb/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>"Then Jesus ascended into Heaven.. "</i></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I understand that it is hard to take a book with a days worth of content and turn it into a two hour movie, things obviously have to be dropped. I also am fully aware that Disney doesn't have the greatest track record when it comes to converting it's base material for the big screen, just read The Hunchback of Notre Dame.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_f78KAFAeY_WE-Mbf9QR3O9vXDzzk2e4jf1aGOd2T4ZjwHiEMT1IMY-CtbngDpI23ffwCua3YaZIeUb_xxrb7HGHJDjt7KHaGc5jO9iQ0BIdlRFDFNGTcIYM8SfIWOGSGLM66UekIChL/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_f78KAFAeY_WE-Mbf9QR3O9vXDzzk2e4jf1aGOd2T4ZjwHiEMT1IMY-CtbngDpI23ffwCua3YaZIeUb_xxrb7HGHJDjt7KHaGc5jO9iQ0BIdlRFDFNGTcIYM8SfIWOGSGLM66UekIChL/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i>Gets hanged for attempted murder</i></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhV9u5SR183E1g1Kx2uPPaVD0dNQS3nktGC4M2LRLF7UNc0Q0wlwGy5WKGnHE26Cq-Z1gPzavGfiGHx0k2f0Yk7hL2n33ey3-uoILfgnM9sP-RDsgTyjVcYNGbmi-AUh8m1HZGvBpff3gC/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhV9u5SR183E1g1Kx2uPPaVD0dNQS3nktGC4M2LRLF7UNc0Q0wlwGy5WKGnHE26Cq-Z1gPzavGfiGHx0k2f0Yk7hL2n33ey3-uoILfgnM9sP-RDsgTyjVcYNGbmi-AUh8m1HZGvBpff3gC/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> Steals Esmeralda's corpse and dies of starvation</i></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It wouldn't be the best ending to pitch to the children, so it is understandable why Disney felt they had to change it, but a whole fucking movie. The only thing Disney used from the book were the names of the Musketeers, and the fact that there were three of them. Imagine my surprise while reading this book, the whole plot of the movie, never showed up! Disney would have you believe that the Musketeers had been outlawed and Cardinal Richelieu was plotting to overthrow the King, none of that shit happened. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoOBMaHxl0P4J6gUNXLpofJ6JEnfc9Vx2Gt7PdVeJQuzj7uIC4WpORAAZXPggxdohrioQTgGW5QeOjdIhKimfCr27I7P-USuwXO8VHpB6fr6cU9um_HlRCrZ8_CUGT7vZXKMrE9ooGl-Vc/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoOBMaHxl0P4J6gUNXLpofJ6JEnfc9Vx2Gt7PdVeJQuzj7uIC4WpORAAZXPggxdohrioQTgGW5QeOjdIhKimfCr27I7P-USuwXO8VHpB6fr6cU9um_HlRCrZ8_CUGT7vZXKMrE9ooGl-Vc/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Source material doesn't need to be followed!</i></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The only problem with all this is no one has read the book, at least no one I know. Pat. So when I talk about the book all I get are confused stares and, one fellow, a big mongoloidish steroid popping fucker, actually punched me. As I lay on the ground checking to see if I still had all my teeth, pondering over what all this "high falutin book learnin" has gotten me, I decided, fuck it, I'll never read again. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXWXnA3j7DD0UB6B9MwQ2NggSURehLOpxzEfS-VYJ17Fw2lMIodG_sV4bxiqzQTuWxF4yJYbbARSdQ4ywxZUsO9IDG5E5PpsYFBdWqhVi0dYy3dAm-xnr95PIkJOu5NgM22uPRNqXps_t/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXWXnA3j7DD0UB6B9MwQ2NggSURehLOpxzEfS-VYJ17Fw2lMIodG_sV4bxiqzQTuWxF4yJYbbARSdQ4ywxZUsO9IDG5E5PpsYFBdWqhVi0dYy3dAm-xnr95PIkJOu5NgM22uPRNqXps_t/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Education is painful</i></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Books are for pretentious assholes who want to show off how smart they are. Movies are for the Gods. It doesn't matter if Romeo and Juliet run off to Rome and live happily ever after, or instead of a murder suicide Gatsby runs off with Daisy and gives up his mansion and his riches to an orphanage, only to live a poor farmers life in South Dakota. I have learned that no one reads anymore, especially the writers of movies, and to fit into the society I have chosen, neither should I. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirg2icpMh04z5fGZ3m-FJaxpJMxO3n3u_b7upBYt83DLU-ZMOrEbvxUhwmkNiM9N5HPvbJ9FWOoc_zXA8iPmSbHcxY-VnEl0m56Q3b_g-GlG04e2FqS5Pd_jLlPzwucTW3d7VAVopBv_7S/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirg2icpMh04z5fGZ3m-FJaxpJMxO3n3u_b7upBYt83DLU-ZMOrEbvxUhwmkNiM9N5HPvbJ9FWOoc_zXA8iPmSbHcxY-VnEl0m56Q3b_g-GlG04e2FqS5Pd_jLlPzwucTW3d7VAVopBv_7S/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i>The Valedictorian of my Senior Class</i></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">To ensure that I have the same knowledge as all of my contemporaries, I will now only get information on the classic works of Literature from my masters, the movie studios. I want to fit in with the uneducated, unwashed masses spending my time watching marathons of American Chopper. I'm not cynical, I don't even know what that means. Someone once wrote "Ignorance is bliss," can't tell you who wrote it, but I do remember hearing it in "The Matrix." </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxD5fAn0wJCj3GwqvQLWukMRb-q8-tX3_tQxpsaOVSMr3Fput8GiYsuPR26Sl8ESfFw95v2hIVjUQa4-19mXAeadMVYud-j_CzehVRQcU64_Rke0DOySqlmCFBgk1HR2q__dCYTD-VqzIx/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxD5fAn0wJCj3GwqvQLWukMRb-q8-tX3_tQxpsaOVSMr3Fput8GiYsuPR26Sl8ESfFw95v2hIVjUQa4-19mXAeadMVYud-j_CzehVRQcU64_Rke0DOySqlmCFBgk1HR2q__dCYTD-VqzIx/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> This dude said it</i></span></span><i> </i></span></span><i><br /></i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-85920494884836272152011-06-14T02:43:00.000-06:002011-06-14T02:44:19.917-06:00No sleep for the wicked<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/06/no-sleep-for-wicked.html";digg_title = "No sleep for the wicked";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>It seems easier to talk about myself on this blog than movies, while movies are my passion I don't want to be one of those blogs where I watch a movie, break down the plot for you, and tell you how shitty it was. I can do that if you'd like, but as a cynical asshole most reviews would be negative, and as I've told you before, it's real hard for me to praise anything in a comedic fashion, and God help me, I am trying to at least make you chuckle.<br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3QP98CG_UdX7qoiNaJN6mPCZFiXqR_e3l9vnM-qM945O2Hc5vEXOvBMRHwBbXke8ed3wMRLcRZefEiIPo0Fy4_s06Of5SyOn0pNr2d9ynkJCBLRA7eAiPxec4MsXac8eU11YrzKR-K94B/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3QP98CG_UdX7qoiNaJN6mPCZFiXqR_e3l9vnM-qM945O2Hc5vEXOvBMRHwBbXke8ed3wMRLcRZefEiIPo0Fy4_s06Of5SyOn0pNr2d9ynkJCBLRA7eAiPxec4MsXac8eU11YrzKR-K94B/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I googled "monkey shooting a clown " and this is what</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>they came up with. Seriously.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I have to go to work in three hours and obviously won't get any sleep before hand, don't worry to much though, I tend to sleep late, so I sit here running through my watch instant queue trying to kill a few hours. I can't help but wait for the day that Netflix offers up their entire library to streaming cause unless you want to watch a TV show, the pickings are kind of slim.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcVsk2IwTbu-kfRVN_3LgdA_TgznbCXtl7vcY3-USp-qZpYOCX0oDQ2qh-kP6HvnLQl79D1bNanzPuWwRB7JnIcC0L1V3XzO13OS7DQO6unsBReVYB57wcLqnMIN7LYhul-J3g9UtMEeNY/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcVsk2IwTbu-kfRVN_3LgdA_TgznbCXtl7vcY3-USp-qZpYOCX0oDQ2qh-kP6HvnLQl79D1bNanzPuWwRB7JnIcC0L1V3XzO13OS7DQO6unsBReVYB57wcLqnMIN7LYhul-J3g9UtMEeNY/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Maybe I'll just watch the IT Crowd again</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I have an extensive DVD collection and video games to play, I'm right in the middle of Dragon Age currently. I guess I could do that. However the mass influx of media that controls my life makes it hard for me to even do that without doing something else also. For instance, while I play a video game I always have an earbud in and listen to some sort of movie on my computer. I made it all the way through every season of Monk while I played Final Fantasy 13.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh962sHD-5aWrunho7_f7vYEa4vx0N-BkxKLlMt7kzUVeZf0Enrl3fg8bFNANzILrr0cwuyH0XCL6cwDniR-SxLSEblXteUbrAMHDutVpJzb11m3enZfxTyfTdDdQ_163og13VahOkDzLpt/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh962sHD-5aWrunho7_f7vYEa4vx0N-BkxKLlMt7kzUVeZf0Enrl3fg8bFNANzILrr0cwuyH0XCL6cwDniR-SxLSEblXteUbrAMHDutVpJzb11m3enZfxTyfTdDdQ_163og13VahOkDzLpt/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>He has OCD and fights monsters</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Shit, while I'm writing this I'm stopping to fast forward through commercials on a Tivoed episode of Criminal Minds. I can't be the only person who is in need of constant entertainment. I don't have ADD or anything like that, I just find that time moves so much faster when I'm distracted. The shitty thing is that I really don't have anything I'm looking forward to either, hang on, the Criminal Minds episode just ended in a cliffhanger so I guess I need to put on the next one.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjI39q_vL38YK7AWhyphenhyphen0hyphenhyphenJ_iocsy1PGKhjw8oCCEdxCaOUNXp6g5MLr_48dLpVZUKRR74-Oen5H42uKuVv4bbc_KP5lGFAvu4BZOJ5SJHXTOblPiIBEJ9nXpx2bI3bAWgtGeQChqVappxE/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjI39q_vL38YK7AWhyphenhyphen0hyphenhyphenJ_iocsy1PGKhjw8oCCEdxCaOUNXp6g5MLr_48dLpVZUKRR74-Oen5H42uKuVv4bbc_KP5lGFAvu4BZOJ5SJHXTOblPiIBEJ9nXpx2bI3bAWgtGeQChqVappxE/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i>God bless you little Tivo alien</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">In the time between my last post and this I kept hitting the stumble button. I chuckled at a few things, like a collection of Simpson's quotes, I'm a huge Simpson's fan. Also for some reason I was sent to a page about the comic books, even though I don't read them and gave Stumbleupon no reason for thinking I did. Sometimes I hate stumbleupon, then it gives me gems like <a href="http://www.molvania.com/video_medium_2.html">Zladko "Zlad" Vladcik.</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggGFDM0a8oQ2NceqftuFWy6Dd3cP2E47LisSvq2BZPBrQhMnJ7u0RDA-LDQUY4_5LK0SkkSYR_AYvecAzf3YnYRjxhtWOIz53IqX2QoDXbJrIZp1YRDfQgf-_tgQdqu9ldsEodC7c3w8GD/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggGFDM0a8oQ2NceqftuFWy6Dd3cP2E47LisSvq2BZPBrQhMnJ7u0RDA-LDQUY4_5LK0SkkSYR_AYvecAzf3YnYRjxhtWOIz53IqX2QoDXbJrIZp1YRDfQgf-_tgQdqu9ldsEodC7c3w8GD/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Zlad. I won't go through the trouble of finding</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>out if it is real. But it's funny.</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Posting this was good enough to kill an hour, and now I only have two left til I have to get to work. Hopefully at some point in the future I will figure out a way to make all this writing that I do pay off. As of this writing I've made a whopping $5.61, none of which I've seen, damn AdBlocker. Maybe I should write a children's book about a inquisitive monkey who lives with a man in a canary colored hat and all the crazy adventures they get into. That's original right?</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxZZrTYPXRU2k3CfE4FL7RXjjHIi4o9J51Z2ulz3lIqlM-gCPsWLBJe2TF5jF7aNFcT-ShyphenhyphenMcrDwbnvCwgJcWzntvctbU1zMYnazy2k-f_CKKITLcWaQ-VcCtUVzd3S7Ufwc2K6ksJxoEP/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxZZrTYPXRU2k3CfE4FL7RXjjHIi4o9J51Z2ulz3lIqlM-gCPsWLBJe2TF5jF7aNFcT-ShyphenhyphenMcrDwbnvCwgJcWzntvctbU1zMYnazy2k-f_CKKITLcWaQ-VcCtUVzd3S7Ufwc2K6ksJxoEP/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Nah, no one would read that.</i></span></span><i> </i></span></span><i><br></i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-66096419565930549972011-06-14T00:08:00.000-06:002011-06-14T00:10:23.978-06:00Cracked.com<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/06/crackedcom.html";digg_title = "Cracked.com";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>I vary from the movie world a little bit for this post, and let us be quite frank here, I'm not really all that good at following just that topic. My life doesn't just consist of watching movies, I also do other antisocial activities such as gaming, fucking around on the Internet, reading, and masturbating, to the Internet. Pretty much whatever keeps me inside.<br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwapULLs4NZ0aWuMHgcv-X-x-NQbUYdCgRrP5DQGuAmwEPFhs3voUn7sLTJfdFU2cv1mg6FnY49CVIXiRY64wDPm2hWlXzItS0xlHReObQafmZXidrhuAqZvLeGnTX5sHMxKJWSsv5_Fo2/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwapULLs4NZ0aWuMHgcv-X-x-NQbUYdCgRrP5DQGuAmwEPFhs3voUn7sLTJfdFU2cv1mg6FnY49CVIXiRY64wDPm2hWlXzItS0xlHReObQafmZXidrhuAqZvLeGnTX5sHMxKJWSsv5_Fo2/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>A safe for work Rule 34</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Much to my surprise and, I'm sure, yours, there is a whole plethora of sites out there that have very little to do with what Jesse Helms, called "Po-naw-graw-fa." Before we get to much further I feel the need to state that according to the website for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, lds.org, I have a completely healthy porn use. I got a ten out of ten on the test!</span></span><br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPtlUGwHgwQY1A2am9GvvJB59YdhPeHbDPI46VYdZxrE_XbDj3r0_oX-LRQT_bkhvlzEN3KHiwcT1GnaK9IiaDsTi2xnMtQxYSjnjpl7rTZHtnXlNfUm4oBHpBCRNDyXLd9UwcTs-ZeAxa/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPtlUGwHgwQY1A2am9GvvJB59YdhPeHbDPI46VYdZxrE_XbDj3r0_oX-LRQT_bkhvlzEN3KHiwcT1GnaK9IiaDsTi2xnMtQxYSjnjpl7rTZHtnXlNfUm4oBHpBCRNDyXLd9UwcTs-ZeAxa/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Not anymore I'm not.</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Everyday, without fail, I visit Cracked.com. I want to tell everyone how awesome this site is and hopefully make a reader out of those of you unaware. America's only humor site since 1958, until the launch of my site, Cracked provides us with the funny, useless bullshit that we crave.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-rtrlHlKztXX8kTtV8Ljg1Ud0F3jkdGzMViauanFKyYyFSGdOSeXZhEWSiH5gusnoi-9dupmG_106kuJLdYYnkCIik3CqvP01xyKEUaR7-VpqgFezzjzqVKSK30uBJUZcHGOBpy9O3Z7t/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-rtrlHlKztXX8kTtV8Ljg1Ud0F3jkdGzMViauanFKyYyFSGdOSeXZhEWSiH5gusnoi-9dupmG_106kuJLdYYnkCIik3CqvP01xyKEUaR7-VpqgFezzjzqVKSK30uBJUZcHGOBpy9O3Z7t/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>With funny pictures interspersed for your reading pleasure</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Where do you think I got the idea</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">The daily lists always provide a good ten minute distraction to my otherwise banal life, like "7 insane Easter eggs hidden in movies and television," or the ever lovely "4 famous authors and their hip-hop equivalent." Lists aside, there is the weekly photoplasty contest where readers photoshop funny pictures based on whatever the random topic Cracked has chosen for them, like this one from "18 Darkest Movie moments if they had been made by Disney."</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBRkPQNYNrNr8_M8mA3r0BR27XmhgszR00EKNTMA6fsMXEAImJ8Qn4RZDPwQYycOHve9aR9hj6uqCK7ppKGSCiqQf04hMfeFK29pj5DzOc1QusI3XkxkJux-PuBUzvMrah02X-fqzwHL2K/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBRkPQNYNrNr8_M8mA3r0BR27XmhgszR00EKNTMA6fsMXEAImJ8Qn4RZDPwQYycOHve9aR9hj6uqCK7ppKGSCiqQf04hMfeFK29pj5DzOc1QusI3XkxkJux-PuBUzvMrah02X-fqzwHL2K/s320/a.jpg" width="320" height="213"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i>I would pay to see this</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I have no affiliation with Cracked, I would like to, they do have a submissions page that I've been looking at with ever growing interest, as soon as I can find the time to write about the "5 biggest douchebags that competed at the first Olympics" or something of that ilk, I'll submit. Until that time, I just ask that you head over and check out the site. You take my advice about the shitty movies that Hollywood is ramming down our throats, or at least I hope you are, so why not take some time out to look at a non-porn website that has brought me so much pleasure. <a href="http://www.cracked.com/">Cracked</a> just click that link and enjoy, if you are really adventurous, come back and tell me in the comments what you thought.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifnG5yaoumt2Rw_UM0Rm3__5wc6o8y-e8MmdrFLEUbOiKVIOu-oHnIaVtmpJ2U2ypI0vgpkOBgCGqwP_vJ1iZFWF9DGk1nqApbczIwXP_iuWphXe_OOm2Kq5En6a3eHBR8KmNX0lgsdg0r/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifnG5yaoumt2Rw_UM0Rm3__5wc6o8y-e8MmdrFLEUbOiKVIOu-oHnIaVtmpJ2U2ypI0vgpkOBgCGqwP_vJ1iZFWF9DGk1nqApbczIwXP_iuWphXe_OOm2Kq5En6a3eHBR8KmNX0lgsdg0r/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> This is what you get when you Google pleasure</i></span></span><i> </i></span></span><i><br></i></span></div></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-10238588173752806962011-06-09T04:41:00.000-06:002011-06-09T04:50:33.902-06:00I got spammed!<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-got-spammed.html";digg_title = "I got spammed!";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>I feel like I'm reaching all of you out there in reader land now, I got my first spam comment! I check my site about thirteen times a day waiting to see what you dear readers have posted, which is usually for naught, and was quite surprised to find a new comment the other day. <br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin_QFPoomSeYowFCvdLalPz8Bo49Yh_e5ounhGkbQqvMBxWPytPcOT3jpIjd4SuGqSPfFYxe47lDvie3DjkuuiJNiv88ob00hiPGCQq5QiHm3dGMoKcLFHaL0CFpTp8hPyrsxkSdyw8cm5/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin_QFPoomSeYowFCvdLalPz8Bo49Yh_e5ounhGkbQqvMBxWPytPcOT3jpIjd4SuGqSPfFYxe47lDvie3DjkuuiJNiv88ob00hiPGCQq5QiHm3dGMoKcLFHaL0CFpTp8hPyrsxkSdyw8cm5/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Me, if I were an attractive blond woman</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">My normal fare of comments usually range from strange nonsensical ramblings by Pat, to "fuck off dildo ass fucker" from the ever lovely anonymous. So imagine my surprise to see an ad for cialis, the hard on drug, put into the comment section for my five worst film remakes. I was under the impression that no one actually reads my current posts let alone looks way back at the older ones.</span><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj-ccvNFYH7IMRl-UQh4SbgGdFdCnWy0oNYnt5QrkIlTZKzrQbLAmUrIDQ3Ozw8AOolmQrKOpRY-p-oI8eOp4eFEVwxhi0HJNRfl7td-ygpKPq-kQ4yc9XCk44qGgco3RZ0pa4KA2xh5FH/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj-ccvNFYH7IMRl-UQh4SbgGdFdCnWy0oNYnt5QrkIlTZKzrQbLAmUrIDQ3Ozw8AOolmQrKOpRY-p-oI8eOp4eFEVwxhi0HJNRfl7td-ygpKPq-kQ4yc9XCk44qGgco3RZ0pa4KA2xh5FH/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Admit it, you're just in it for the funny pictures</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">As an avid user of Stumbleupon I can see how one might come across an older post of mine, however, this isn't the case here. I know because all of my stumble submissions, minus the ones about boobs, still only have the one page view that I gave to them when they were submitted. It might have been a link over from America's Hobbies, which has been getting inundated by Chinese handbag sellers. This I find much more likely. I haven't clicked the link to figure out where the knock off cialis is coming from because I fear viruses.</span><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFDSC6x0xZDnf-X4KjbxeIfoWiNGLIBAjmkSfHxt_qhdC0uOk85KfVC_ZdBXqcobL0hQIEVqXQeHxeUNquXLzCBdfcS6auvMG4Mc2p0ug2H2NMd227d4haMPh16vpTvnq_ytpTl90pwkP5/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFDSC6x0xZDnf-X4KjbxeIfoWiNGLIBAjmkSfHxt_qhdC0uOk85KfVC_ZdBXqcobL0hQIEVqXQeHxeUNquXLzCBdfcS6auvMG4Mc2p0ug2H2NMd227d4haMPh16vpTvnq_ytpTl90pwkP5/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I set my safe search to strict before I looked for this image</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">It is clear that whomever posted this link has not so good grasp of the language that is English cause we speak it and they no write it good. Admittedly that does not rule out an US poster, even one born and educated here. Read it and you can see why I would think that it might be of some sort of foreign origin. Which I guess just leads us to our last issue.</span><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzbknCY_Mjx8JuDDoCGgoNIpp3YH_4Ix0bXQ2wVtos2CVaOBMi_JhIOQV6N-8iGyvZS7qy6vI93Qm9Dwm_iKDshdYpe42wFvnDpnL1H5IOFwMdXsCe_wmDIYH1yyflJaLSr2Ai0Baixpu/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzbknCY_Mjx8JuDDoCGgoNIpp3YH_4Ix0bXQ2wVtos2CVaOBMi_JhIOQV6N-8iGyvZS7qy6vI93Qm9Dwm_iKDshdYpe42wFvnDpnL1H5IOFwMdXsCe_wmDIYH1yyflJaLSr2Ai0Baixpu/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Someone must remember Smiling Bob!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Cialis is used to remedy erectile dysfunction, as a 28 year old healthy male, I say with full pride and not a least bit of exaggeration, I've got no problems in the area of getting my man to stand at attention.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1jnRBs27WaChtXnrWZTpYkMbk9qRrlvFfwSn2Tif5T8QB4x9sOt1AEMqZBJhSU6r42eWV1-2OXoi96b_4_gtXUtePjGyh9D-iY6KFRaExyx_eUG_Tfq3BGEgttGKBYr2hdE-WIuWTKnLW/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1jnRBs27WaChtXnrWZTpYkMbk9qRrlvFfwSn2Tif5T8QB4x9sOt1AEMqZBJhSU6r42eWV1-2OXoi96b_4_gtXUtePjGyh9D-iY6KFRaExyx_eUG_Tfq3BGEgttGKBYr2hdE-WIuWTKnLW/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> All the Cialis I need</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Now if it were an ad for Extenze, well that would be a different story. Finally something that is catered to me. It's as if someone has been reading my diary and forming the advertisements I see to my specific needs. Kind of like what ad-sense is supposed to do for my blog but fails, unable to follow lofty concepts like, all I do is talk about movies.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5aatfDFF_P0-1ilGB4U7TgD_2-rMyOkgfYGBKK3uDOzMsBXqIOFlix3KgvtyYakzipYLSgkfHeu42gbRWJL1CZhdaHlhxN7U0pDulTMHgix4RdDoJl0-0cFF6a-dWa-OxthjK5CG0noPx/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5aatfDFF_P0-1ilGB4U7TgD_2-rMyOkgfYGBKK3uDOzMsBXqIOFlix3KgvtyYakzipYLSgkfHeu42gbRWJL1CZhdaHlhxN7U0pDulTMHgix4RdDoJl0-0cFF6a-dWa-OxthjK5CG0noPx/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> If you like movies, then you'll love taxidermy!- google ad sense</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I guess the whole point of this tirade is that I'm lonely, I seek such approval that I'm willing to allow anyone to post anything in the comments of my blog, my penis is small but working properly, Google Adsense makes no sense, and everyone will look at the funny pictures, however, not much else. It's all good though, writing this has been rather cathartic, and it has been nice for a change not writing about how shitty the movie Ninja was, it was terrible, that's what I was going to write about initially. Maybe in the future I'll tell everyone about the ham fisted acting, and awesome fight sequences, until then qu'est-ce que c'est.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg59S8IJqlq5C3WC_KBoakw8cmZ1_Vy22sEc8ybFgBb2eY5B6acEjQMud5EEm2A_3acQmnTfQUHYaFvu_2kEpfJhjKBqnGj4XvZ11sV9WvX0YWd0XfHfrI9_V7xGQPk48Z3oqcez3eegxxT/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg59S8IJqlq5C3WC_KBoakw8cmZ1_Vy22sEc8ybFgBb2eY5B6acEjQMud5EEm2A_3acQmnTfQUHYaFvu_2kEpfJhjKBqnGj4XvZ11sV9WvX0YWd0XfHfrI9_V7xGQPk48Z3oqcez3eegxxT/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Told you it was about taxidermy!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-57488502930866538672011-06-01T14:45:00.000-06:002011-06-01T14:48:03.678-06:00The four best fictional holidays that television has given us.<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/06/four-best-fictional-holidays-that.html";digg_title = "The four best fictional holidays that television has given us.";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>With mother's day passing only a few weeks ago I find it time to point out some other fictitious holidays that the world of television has given us. Before we begin I want to stop all of you ladies right there, Mother's day is a bullshit holiday created by Halmark solely for the purpose of selling cards. It's not REAL, not like Father's Day. Am I right guys!? Now that we've got that established, let's begin.<br><br><b><span style="font-size: large">Freedom Day- Futurama</span></b><br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLfFzt8SCGvTb7vlZR8S8Hy6URor7_qAlcgLephoHNTycJKnrjRSieOK7PSznGb7cAaw09YFkKUoNuunPGvb3tc37o-INQ8q1nupe8xNqgIzTUL3B8i1ZT5HBLaiMjukn0AoEivUB0E0ul/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLfFzt8SCGvTb7vlZR8S8Hy6URor7_qAlcgLephoHNTycJKnrjRSieOK7PSznGb7cAaw09YFkKUoNuunPGvb3tc37o-INQ8q1nupe8xNqgIzTUL3B8i1ZT5HBLaiMjukn0AoEivUB0E0ul/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><b><span style="font-size: large"> </span></b> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Pictured: The Freedom Day dance. Looks fun, eh?</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">In the future the World is overrun by weird ass aliens and surprisingly attractive one eyed mutants. With so many different cultures melding together we were bound to come up with some new holidays. Something along the lines of Boxing Day meets Cinco de Mayo, or maybe just a global rip off of Independence Day. While the former would've led to some great wacky adventures, Freedom Day is more like the latter. </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Freedom Day is all about doing whatever you want, regardless of the consequences. No doubt a further reincarnation of the "Do what you feel festival" started in the town of Springfield a thousand years earlier.</span></span></span></span><br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtBQk_R3BsmdModK1m9vOy0cFmrSeAcDuNln7suwV4vTu5XMkVk-WxmzsytVm_4USZCnYOoXIH0QXNot1Lcz16ox8Qfd3d4VI0YBvea7OoXUIDU_gNXATg_SotqDPNpCteR_0z_YPsK-Kd/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtBQk_R3BsmdModK1m9vOy0cFmrSeAcDuNln7suwV4vTu5XMkVk-WxmzsytVm_4USZCnYOoXIH0QXNot1Lcz16ox8Qfd3d4VI0YBvea7OoXUIDU_gNXATg_SotqDPNpCteR_0z_YPsK-Kd/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Did I mention Nixon was President? What a </i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>crazy future we live in! Or will live in.</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><b><span style="font-size: small">Traditions: </span></b><span style="font-size: small">Doing whatever you want, eating the flag of Earth "Old Freebie", nude hot tubing.</span><i> </i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfZXAJ1Wos6OdHlqfHYxNgYXRCO-mcIEj6MBx-ZPpb55TSUEqxKC9mpnqiDbfiv0wJ4WZA_mD3o3yu2bZtzyewflUpI8Q0FWZGx-PcAhOZuGxxTf-P-09VNtq5BIwym1SpISjVEKWMc30F/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfZXAJ1Wos6OdHlqfHYxNgYXRCO-mcIEj6MBx-ZPpb55TSUEqxKC9mpnqiDbfiv0wJ4WZA_mD3o3yu2bZtzyewflUpI8Q0FWZGx-PcAhOZuGxxTf-P-09VNtq5BIwym1SpISjVEKWMc30F/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> Happy Freedom Day!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Yak Shaving Day- Ren and Stimpy</b></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcwxj7FgbhUfgFQH8rkEk1EeU_dhRlP2oE7D5IDyGoqNI73ToCE-4WFnxAIVtH0Nr3lgS79oOf0gLs0ID7hEQM1ErtJ9J6wuPSRt4OTTTolNy114mrm8-teaxfnuiBiGfLk0q2lbLjT9xn/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcwxj7FgbhUfgFQH8rkEk1EeU_dhRlP2oE7D5IDyGoqNI73ToCE-4WFnxAIVtH0Nr3lgS79oOf0gLs0ID7hEQM1ErtJ9J6wuPSRt4OTTTolNy114mrm8-teaxfnuiBiGfLk0q2lbLjT9xn/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b></span><i> </i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">For children there is no more exciting day than Yaksmas Eve. The little ones hang their soiled diapers on the mantelpiece all in anticipation of hearing the enchanted canoe, which carries, none other than, the Gilded Yak. It is hoped, that if the children are good, the Gilded Yak will enter the house via the bathtub drain and leave shaving scum in the sink.</span><i> </i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlpCBGYxpQUFG0-zf58I-_6oM0p5oeCm2WFBXfFuR5ruzUvchR0fYVEPqKH38c5GIDYJR4R17JZsvnw52x2uC94L382_pAYIei1rmeW5URYEabhPsbiq8q713oc6gQ8f8d24OrBUTM4Oc-/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlpCBGYxpQUFG0-zf58I-_6oM0p5oeCm2WFBXfFuR5ruzUvchR0fYVEPqKH38c5GIDYJR4R17JZsvnw52x2uC94L382_pAYIei1rmeW5URYEabhPsbiq8q713oc6gQ8f8d24OrBUTM4Oc-/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> Those better be soiled!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><b>Traditions: </b>Hanging soiled diapers, filling your uncle's boots with coleslaw, leaving a bowl of hat lather by the sink.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiThPCSs0HXeLC2y_3ZEE4WkBgXsaCXXLxGLXCoqyrBMUVsFen5sOPYYkGRIpDPw4ClkqVBBRxCHi6S5RQ_Frn9GHEg1n4D3ApBJ6paHS5M4pu0AZdpoBHmb2PSjFHW7pyCtLRObRjWjvaV/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiThPCSs0HXeLC2y_3ZEE4WkBgXsaCXXLxGLXCoqyrBMUVsFen5sOPYYkGRIpDPw4ClkqVBBRxCHi6S5RQ_Frn9GHEg1n4D3ApBJ6paHS5M4pu0AZdpoBHmb2PSjFHW7pyCtLRObRjWjvaV/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> A must have for Yak Shaving Day!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Festivus- Seinfeld</b></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQnqjsaHLnAju3V1lFmOgRdGnWzyFiuYlyXlx_WlqVGcPSHDQtKPY6j_WogPqNAlbm1xgogQFKvEpKs6H6ikFdGVkoMp8XqqLuw7H5vd4k70BW43j3zD21YvX5M32qmML28bacgH-b5va-/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQnqjsaHLnAju3V1lFmOgRdGnWzyFiuYlyXlx_WlqVGcPSHDQtKPY6j_WogPqNAlbm1xgogQFKvEpKs6H6ikFdGVkoMp8XqqLuw7H5vd4k70BW43j3zD21YvX5M32qmML28bacgH-b5va-/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div></div> <div style="text-align: left"> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">A Festivus for the rest of us. Fed up with the commercialism that has tainted the holiday season Frank Costanza invents the holiday know as Festivus. Celebrated on the 23rd of December, family members gather around the Festivus Pole, usually made of aluminum, which offers a high strength to weight ratio, and prepares for the airing of grievances, where each person takes turns explaining ways the others have disappointed them throughout the year. After dinner, it is time for the feats of strength, wherein Festivus will not end until the head of the household has been pinned.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgibxGJA0wllSDgJtgwxX3RsfojfuW-NCZSKYxwM2Ey9pSodrnTQPYFOqpgGuvU6rwLsilG8aunhD0IDxdr7tB77UYuRkrKFWXXg_nr68jCElpqzf0wXm0zx3oX8WDb-zMffcGQBJhyphenhyphenUPPM/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgibxGJA0wllSDgJtgwxX3RsfojfuW-NCZSKYxwM2Ey9pSodrnTQPYFOqpgGuvU6rwLsilG8aunhD0IDxdr7tB77UYuRkrKFWXXg_nr68jCElpqzf0wXm0zx3oX8WDb-zMffcGQBJhyphenhyphenUPPM/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><b> </b></span><i> Which can be surprisingly harder than it appears.</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><b><span style="font-size: small">Traditions: </span></b><span style="font-size: small">The Festivus Pole, Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength, claiming easily explainable events as "Festivus Miracles"</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggHNBzsDPjUlsZNdjVffqlIghqwySDN2hkKsq1ksSJBVXWgnAXIKtlMVI6qlSo_2xMPKnEwP7PLdh1HTrVkbcs4zQS6WpKG7txHEHHuPOLpWPvxYNPvpZ-Febwq6NRdQKQFtgTKldq8zhZ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggHNBzsDPjUlsZNdjVffqlIghqwySDN2hkKsq1ksSJBVXWgnAXIKtlMVI6qlSo_2xMPKnEwP7PLdh1HTrVkbcs4zQS6WpKG7txHEHHuPOLpWPvxYNPvpZ-Febwq6NRdQKQFtgTKldq8zhZ/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Another Festivus Miracle!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Whacking Day- The Simpsons</b></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMfo4JStZ-YWBY3wndTMo6QldzKIg-Fbxszn21sXFLoY2xEsD_3BVUSCr3Hv5Jok8hCVz8Df0hL4294o2o_Voty49yMpo_cSub3-xcCm6HF1LT0rnX7lX4_6O78UYWsyxQi6fNsafhZ9RI/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMfo4JStZ-YWBY3wndTMo6QldzKIg-Fbxszn21sXFLoY2xEsD_3BVUSCr3Hv5Jok8hCVz8Df0hL4294o2o_Voty49yMpo_cSub3-xcCm6HF1LT0rnX7lX4_6O78UYWsyxQi6fNsafhZ9RI/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Always be prepared for Whacking Day!</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Legend has it that town founder, Jebediah Springfield, started the tradition back in 1775 but history has a more sordid tale. Whacking day was originally started in 1924 as an excuse to beat up the Irish. Now every May 10th the citizens of Springfield gather to drive the snakes to the center of town and whack them to snake heaven. Luminaries such as Barry White and Richard Nixon have taken part in the traditions over the years.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm9ZaW7RAO9o1LaXHrF-V40sHujGgw2YOEZF9PsI75PN75Y-BEKT9QqvDNThOd2Pned-785Slg05A7TJsFQyuyEytQQVA9o6Ejso6HH_1Uvek-KFOKFVEsAY-vZOeQ68Jk-8Mmnk_TvBzU/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm9ZaW7RAO9o1LaXHrF-V40sHujGgw2YOEZF9PsI75PN75Y-BEKT9QqvDNThOd2Pned-785Slg05A7TJsFQyuyEytQQVA9o6Ejso6HH_1Uvek-KFOKFVEsAY-vZOeQ68Jk-8Mmnk_TvBzU/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>For being dead, Nixon sure gets around</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><b>Traditions: </b>Killing snakes, unwarranted beatings of the Irish</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLDD_Vkk4HZXkCa-rJZxaJwBmiEiJyJa9to40VJ2ITyuGhlz03DLeqeQsfYK3z9hqXjH8YvRRypWED_hZqv6uJnn-p3IXtSK5vCp8S7M3rvmYIAgiNJ1EgPNN9h0lzum48-Q91EAz7-gdj/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLDD_Vkk4HZXkCa-rJZxaJwBmiEiJyJa9to40VJ2ITyuGhlz03DLeqeQsfYK3z9hqXjH8YvRRypWED_hZqv6uJnn-p3IXtSK5vCp8S7M3rvmYIAgiNJ1EgPNN9h0lzum48-Q91EAz7-gdj/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>It's easier if they're old and very stereotypical</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> </i></span></span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b></span><i> </i></span></span><i> </i></span></div></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-7680374942994069662011-05-25T16:38:00.000-06:002011-05-25T16:40:46.602-06:00McBain The Movie!<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/05/mcbain-movie.html";digg_title = "McBain The Movie!";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>Saw this and shit my pants. Someone took all the clips of McBain from the Simpsons and cut them together into a pretty coherent story. I didn't make this, but wish I did. Enjoy!<br><br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/jxot9lk58Zw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-12303191817934312662011-05-21T04:25:00.000-06:002011-05-21T04:27:28.719-06:00My secret shame<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/05/my-secret-shame.html";digg_title = "My secret shame";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />It's time once again for me to bare my soul to you, oh my dear readers, and dirge the tawdry depths of my shame. That's why we have the Internet, so I can anonymously tell everyone about the embarrassing shit I've done, and, let's be honest here, still continue to do. That's the funny thing about shame, it helps to have none, which is why I feel completely comfortable telling you about...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Movies that are good to masturbate to!</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTYOEEW00LmgwGFgaNm4mkUNtvzgur1z7maz2mCuLomB2S29QnGVD9PFRBcprEe867NXs9NkVVXjrFF1y8SkwpWhsx8KJ5i02dhaK_0Zpn5ZE-Y-O9EXuswHnTcevhNDe7eZraLeHAPqpx/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTYOEEW00LmgwGFgaNm4mkUNtvzgur1z7maz2mCuLomB2S29QnGVD9PFRBcprEe867NXs9NkVVXjrFF1y8SkwpWhsx8KJ5i02dhaK_0Zpn5ZE-Y-O9EXuswHnTcevhNDe7eZraLeHAPqpx/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b> <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I can't tell you how many times Phoebe Cates has walked in on me</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">My criteria for these films follows a very scientific set of principals; it has to be a movie that I wouldn't admit to watching in public, and it has to have hot chicks. I know that's hard to follow, but, just like in real life, science trumps all.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwSjIJkXJLaVGKmHDdD-HkJ_SLYEh8UIB_mRspWJ_dFvth0Q1YZriPJEHhn2UyIaYoo7mTAb8Np5Wvm8-cBAJfCwj5kwRLsj7ds1NGjTFXont7kqJIcOJ3S2KWZ_81yX443udrVWYXn6R/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwSjIJkXJLaVGKmHDdD-HkJ_SLYEh8UIB_mRspWJ_dFvth0Q1YZriPJEHhn2UyIaYoo7mTAb8Np5Wvm8-cBAJfCwj5kwRLsj7ds1NGjTFXont7kqJIcOJ3S2KWZ_81yX443udrVWYXn6R/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Pictured: Science</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Barb Wire (1996)</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXhMN1dnGTk7Sp76JssSYhTOjz2chxOPQv93z18D5rIDRx6rIxc17rbjarI1Vh9-Ycac_6T-7vODlfZltVPjw7Uk0Q7cOyQZAyjRwGRWTybz84Hw_3zqVLUo1IsAqcn19JteqiHJdtLtux/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXhMN1dnGTk7Sp76JssSYhTOjz2chxOPQv93z18D5rIDRx6rIxc17rbjarI1Vh9-Ycac_6T-7vODlfZltVPjw7Uk0Q7cOyQZAyjRwGRWTybz84Hw_3zqVLUo1IsAqcn19JteqiHJdtLtux/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span><i> </i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, having seen this movie no less that ten times, I still must refer to the Internet to explain the plot. IMDb tells me that; "</span>21st century. USA. The second civil war. The whole country is in a state of emergency. What was formerly called the American Congress now rules with fascistic methods. There is only one free city left, Steel Harbor, headquarter for the resistance. This is the hometown of Barb Wire, owner of the night club Hammerhead." Still trying to remember if any of that is true.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA-SF3tk4GJFxlRKWZEDfgeiWF_c_l5rmSuQ_Zv9Ro4VqjfufvmvIDaLORtd_2LjL7V95jOkI5fklaLTUVI_9ghpK3Duxb6lAUGFL9O1MVM03mp2WodY7oqVA6F0To2FJM3m1MqjHTLau8/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA-SF3tk4GJFxlRKWZEDfgeiWF_c_l5rmSuQ_Zv9Ro4VqjfufvmvIDaLORtd_2LjL7V95jOkI5fklaLTUVI_9ghpK3Duxb6lAUGFL9O1MVM03mp2WodY7oqVA6F0To2FJM3m1MqjHTLau8/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Are we sure it's not about a washed up playmate?</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe it's the fact that I could only watch Barb Wire in three minute segments that could account for my haze. Not remembering it I can't even say that it's a bad movie, all I can say for sure, is that it wasn't good. Keep in mind that it was '96 and her greatest acting role hadn't been released yet, so for a boy of fourteen, this was porn.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiEpKF31nW6oHQe64a0vhZBH_aS8BAOB-qHtu_hpypfgZhVs4IJqKpK3P9vbZ1fLzMv69u51ZKdA1NAjubwJjjMtksOKApuVcvdp2Q0YXloFbW5Rqhw7_pbUZhT2EjwUVwsmglVnRO_IDE/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiEpKF31nW6oHQe64a0vhZBH_aS8BAOB-qHtu_hpypfgZhVs4IJqKpK3P9vbZ1fLzMv69u51ZKdA1NAjubwJjjMtksOKApuVcvdp2Q0YXloFbW5Rqhw7_pbUZhT2EjwUVwsmglVnRO_IDE/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Turns out, this, is porn</i></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Spice World (1997)</b></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqjkWia1QyGQMAurUwjQMXp98LtGqoBVmJD0OcZOYWPnBZxFeacqFu7KsOw85Z52HA-g4c2MNj17JIQHlI8KF1WnhKbMJJskTd8LyIuG1iezHLEZYGk3caYuVvKzitq-po7v0z1qmrktw9/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqjkWia1QyGQMAurUwjQMXp98LtGqoBVmJD0OcZOYWPnBZxFeacqFu7KsOw85Z52HA-g4c2MNj17JIQHlI8KF1WnhKbMJJskTd8LyIuG1iezHLEZYGk3caYuVvKzitq-po7v0z1qmrktw9/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">The world is apparently British</span></i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Spice Girls, for those of you to young to remember, and if you are to young to remember perhaps you shouldn't be reading this because I occasionally use dirty words, fuck, were some sort of singing group, the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until a young youtube sensation would unite the world.</span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFJi2_vhbJ26AA6oilZWhc1_J_wxIteBjrhbYpFAcGms-Cr27k50V3_-KDeEWqMGK5CVvqaj2UC3h6vbhxFdM2GASCCT-qB5s1VMeMhCLiLYgRv8lXIDNpU5cvSIjYz0aS7aJBstua0Twm/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFJi2_vhbJ26AA6oilZWhc1_J_wxIteBjrhbYpFAcGms-Cr27k50V3_-KDeEWqMGK5CVvqaj2UC3h6vbhxFdM2GASCCT-qB5s1VMeMhCLiLYgRv8lXIDNpU5cvSIjYz0aS7aJBstua0Twm/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> Fill in your own punchline here</span></i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hiding their ample assets behind skimpy clothing and the annoying phrase "Girl Power" this fivesome was every teenage boys fantasy, the only problem was that the music sucked so bad that there wasn't nearly enough time to fire one out to one of their music videos. Remedy; let them star in their own feature length film.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjls5q4ObIQNlWx5ob4iIFlazTfcq9_iIFbasTVXfPwW6yX47ub1FQKp7IBtICTuFIRAlOsj7LOW-vG6V56_eTyePmCdzZ2LuKb9XLyQsbMrn70KZkGlEx__yzJxJpP7pAE2X6EhXcQnpPp/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjls5q4ObIQNlWx5ob4iIFlazTfcq9_iIFbasTVXfPwW6yX47ub1FQKp7IBtICTuFIRAlOsj7LOW-vG6V56_eTyePmCdzZ2LuKb9XLyQsbMrn70KZkGlEx__yzJxJpP7pAE2X6EhXcQnpPp/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> Setting a good example for our little girls</span></i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">You can tell this is a great movie due to the completely random montage that has the ladies trying on different outfits.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrl-0Z_JhJC8gKDgolRXIoFiQ8ir-b3DPxrwGSQt8HLUO9tXF7I04FTEEdVXclqXeMvJrafrOnp2-6ts49k3wN65AIGvZ58A_TRQ9dtRCND7iSXHi5ujJc_g-V-HsIopOez9tV_BBnLV-/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrl-0Z_JhJC8gKDgolRXIoFiQ8ir-b3DPxrwGSQt8HLUO9tXF7I04FTEEdVXclqXeMvJrafrOnp2-6ts49k3wN65AIGvZ58A_TRQ9dtRCND7iSXHi5ujJc_g-V-HsIopOez9tV_BBnLV-/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> It really drove the plot forward</span></i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The House Bunny (2008)</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr6wTFdVTRM2blqGwC21_E-HgNb-spe2-5r0E_gcpZLzIuguEwyZBv6a1_bdEJb11GFob3UDjOc32N1TzZpwEK2YjeveEb1oHIV9kW77CJRoGnvhvhwN3_e1UQfC1kEru4Ca_V6npLcej8/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr6wTFdVTRM2blqGwC21_E-HgNb-spe2-5r0E_gcpZLzIuguEwyZBv6a1_bdEJb11GFob3UDjOc32N1TzZpwEK2YjeveEb1oHIV9kW77CJRoGnvhvhwN3_e1UQfC1kEru4Ca_V6npLcej8/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">When did Anna Faris become a sex symbol? Wasn't she the nerdy and slightly pretty girl from the Scary Movie franchise.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQJqypjjH7bv9n76odTC8NuUlG59gOj9Q8ghqZ18Zt59Gk98Z2YoJtUfjCYSNI3fXzC5R0VpvWYC0EV5hgyfQ13B7nAnpV1YzH629txNmMbb78ciYSO0sxi207NJW4yzhlq0pHVOn7LRa/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQJqypjjH7bv9n76odTC8NuUlG59gOj9Q8ghqZ18Zt59Gk98Z2YoJtUfjCYSNI3fXzC5R0VpvWYC0EV5hgyfQ13B7nAnpV1YzH629txNmMbb78ciYSO0sxi207NJW4yzhlq0pHVOn7LRa/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><b> </b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Cute, but still, at best, the friend of the cute girl</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Still somewhere, something, happened because that, became this...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaiR5a1Ojq0GjPj1XkMZYI1ztQ6silSGziFRBesH5pHKtpWvev0IVkPL1oyRyO_z6BM_BzZBgl12YVRBQrSDu7GAR02f0kDB7IdQ4-3Piec1NVPPq2qBabg2RZ5pt-dktcNOgSWb0RJaIM/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaiR5a1Ojq0GjPj1XkMZYI1ztQ6silSGziFRBesH5pHKtpWvev0IVkPL1oyRyO_z6BM_BzZBgl12YVRBQrSDu7GAR02f0kDB7IdQ4-3Piec1NVPPq2qBabg2RZ5pt-dktcNOgSWb0RJaIM/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> The glorious underboob</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">In this film we follow a washed up former playmate as she gets kicked out of the mansion for being to old, and heads off to college to give pretty girls with dumpy clothes on and, gasp, glasses, make overs. Revealing that the pretty girls are actually pretty.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP6fZxiXsqjWLA1slTSXi3INMgNmHaL85tRAMi1LLAN-9R8m_cnndZe2uUuKd_UMd4MPLHlErMYUZjqZc3j7dpqr4JsQWl8Rc5GAZrCDafPPHbEwUjP8TuqrjWC2UVtbjkn58LGY7PMOdp/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP6fZxiXsqjWLA1slTSXi3INMgNmHaL85tRAMi1LLAN-9R8m_cnndZe2uUuKd_UMd4MPLHlErMYUZjqZc3j7dpqr4JsQWl8Rc5GAZrCDafPPHbEwUjP8TuqrjWC2UVtbjkn58LGY7PMOdp/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Well most of them are pretty</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It is because of the unfortunate casting of Ms. Willis that the best part of this movie is the beginning, for self gratification reasons at least, and I'm sure the film ends with some sort of touching life lesson about how we shouldn't judge people based solely on appearance and blah blah blah blah. The ironic thing, I might have felt bad had I learned the moral.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WEIWnm2wn9Vj6wj_PXFU-W4zq07sI8M8PZVd_q0CXm_5w9mBfbdEav4Zni7SYAdA8DYovTqTXTetU_Y7ejat0Y47JKtbuwNAlqMKlUjFaqM6ma2MOul6Ie_mKX7a8_yzDwhd-foz9jlg/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WEIWnm2wn9Vj6wj_PXFU-W4zq07sI8M8PZVd_q0CXm_5w9mBfbdEav4Zni7SYAdA8DYovTqTXTetU_Y7ejat0Y47JKtbuwNAlqMKlUjFaqM6ma2MOul6Ie_mKX7a8_yzDwhd-foz9jlg/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Stress: MIGHT have</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> </i></span></span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Devil Wears Prada (2006)</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigThBs3QYA4BaeoF8dR08nSAzm7XoO13lbwf8cAinQg3aWREkAwWEiqOHUQECKIVfgtLn4IlpPkGNwrio-0wgZHlsPJOeL1S6BIWf47wihAZ3d2u8-jXdco6b_LgX5oGWsZKn4HnQJX4DF/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigThBs3QYA4BaeoF8dR08nSAzm7XoO13lbwf8cAinQg3aWREkAwWEiqOHUQECKIVfgtLn4IlpPkGNwrio-0wgZHlsPJOeL1S6BIWf47wihAZ3d2u8-jXdco6b_LgX5oGWsZKn4HnQJX4DF/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b><span style="font-size: small;">In all good science experiments there is the exception that proves the rule, and while this doesn't exactly qualify as a shitty movie it most certainly has hot chicks in it.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi00wNQJ1R6vpRFez_h-h1Cq2GYgOZ2jMkxKWSHn3Cn7TNu89lbLmuAC_LEC3UVr90JcvsExQCTXJn1rprWdird6zuLTpEl7tRmwaejDh8XmiFyyn6eBlP_g_jhfPk3sh6PmWpKyG9NppJQ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi00wNQJ1R6vpRFez_h-h1Cq2GYgOZ2jMkxKWSHn3Cn7TNu89lbLmuAC_LEC3UVr90JcvsExQCTXJn1rprWdird6zuLTpEl7tRmwaejDh8XmiFyyn6eBlP_g_jhfPk3sh6PmWpKyG9NppJQ/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Fun for all ages and fetishes</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I watched this movie waiting, in vain, for the hot make out scene between Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt, or Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep, or Emily Blunt and Meryl Streep, or maybe all three together, yeah, that would be hot. Instead we get the typical story of the Hitleresque boss and the great looking ladies in high fashion.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoGwIEym6zEf93tV-45lX1hBBdwexi5y_CQu3-8FhMsEIKq37oHPN3kRQXgoHJJxgJNm_ZjpmbQx9TL3KJLtdMS2ikIZpJKtqsdR_LVrBUHQqsdNSpeZnlGQNKABG-s0K3ve4-SHfqDP7v/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoGwIEym6zEf93tV-45lX1hBBdwexi5y_CQu3-8FhMsEIKq37oHPN3kRQXgoHJJxgJNm_ZjpmbQx9TL3KJLtdMS2ikIZpJKtqsdR_LVrBUHQqsdNSpeZnlGQNKABG-s0K3ve4-SHfqDP7v/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> The Hitler analogy has given this movie a whole new twist</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'd never heard of Emily Blunt before this movie and having seen it, if she's anything like her character, which I'm under the impression that everyone who acts is just playing themselves, then she is a vapid, self centered bitch, who is emotionally broken and is desperately seeking some sort of approval. Just the way I like them!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCYpkK0ycJCn3i1ABzh-fISof1zJ00dLQU7M7mHOTGqP5R-0tBjb7_hoYAHWnEvsWt0SxGnfYQaoHrY8iSrpdyfXKTCpSXiEpxycYcgKbXcOvDgmu6wRW4sX2BkNOsININ2X6bsbe9dYON/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCYpkK0ycJCn3i1ABzh-fISof1zJ00dLQU7M7mHOTGqP5R-0tBjb7_hoYAHWnEvsWt0SxGnfYQaoHrY8iSrpdyfXKTCpSXiEpxycYcgKbXcOvDgmu6wRW4sX2BkNOsININ2X6bsbe9dYON/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Please don't kill my fantasy in the comment section, I need this</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> </i></span></span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, if you ever find yourself cruising the isles of your local video store, those still exist don't they, looking for some sort of masturbatory aide and you happen to run into your third grade teacher. Grab The Devil Wears Prada, she may think your gay, but she won't believe that you're about to make God kill a kitten.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj093DU93STzgxlSh3we-JPPIk25qbLg09Q3ThajOAerTv1ITqfay_loitqmF4UpVfuQ0l4OTkjXn6ovIYTaVXYdXYb99B29XbgFHh3MrmJzunv-NzGvLxu5alFzK1-GglOwfkAfw-RbKh-/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj093DU93STzgxlSh3we-JPPIk25qbLg09Q3ThajOAerTv1ITqfay_loitqmF4UpVfuQ0l4OTkjXn6ovIYTaVXYdXYb99B29XbgFHh3MrmJzunv-NzGvLxu5alFzK1-GglOwfkAfw-RbKh-/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> I went to Catholic School and I'm pretty sure posting</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>this is a Hell worthy trespass </i></span></span></span></span></span><i> </i></span></span><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-75629584193814405962011-05-16T23:00:00.000-06:002011-05-16T23:02:14.140-06:00Back by popular demand: More Boobs!<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/05/back-by-popular-demand-more-boobs.html";digg_title = "Back by popular demand: More Boobs!";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>After receiving such overwhelming attention to my last post I decided to follow my mother's advice "Make sure you flaunt the titties, son." Maybe that wasn't something that she said, maybe.<br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnC-xRIH6MMk_sReNEUO2fn2vhtJBM-XDTuUwbM2BS2E2yDdIvL9EcqOyfSUJmixq3wNGrd581b-3i5GcLT_gKLjF6w0v3Px0Q7ROKgwVH4z38VXZgk2FhsvyTx1smr8abIC3iPI0-J1QV/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnC-xRIH6MMk_sReNEUO2fn2vhtJBM-XDTuUwbM2BS2E2yDdIvL9EcqOyfSUJmixq3wNGrd581b-3i5GcLT_gKLjF6w0v3Px0Q7ROKgwVH4z38VXZgk2FhsvyTx1smr8abIC3iPI0-J1QV/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>"My mother told me that too! "</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Only this time instead of looking at films that have boob shots, let's look at some of our best endowed actresses, and the things they are famous for.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large">Jennifer Love Hewitt</span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZZmNCyLmWSIWaN1Y6zhUuLCOJ9o1HUGn0zN_WTL2SHzO5t755MaAnZhdnOY2GDk8hPvdwyh-a0BtXSODx_SkGN2_UzrSNmxB3KB9aYK4qp91ijYad7JK2lHBasGf84lRTYtcQ8XciA0EM/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZZmNCyLmWSIWaN1Y6zhUuLCOJ9o1HUGn0zN_WTL2SHzO5t755MaAnZhdnOY2GDk8hPvdwyh-a0BtXSODx_SkGN2_UzrSNmxB3KB9aYK4qp91ijYad7JK2lHBasGf84lRTYtcQ8XciA0EM/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div><br></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div><br><br> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">She'll never be the one accepting an Oscar, or an Emmy, an any type of accolades that involve great acting. That being said however, she'll always be able to find some sort of work. No matter how asinine the premise.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZ2nUWYuEkKF6cqVvJ6oRa6kzWIFoMt35V43C2VL11XhgJDXyTWaaNFw0JHC1YLzWXChuPip1XASUjZlb5i_nqm5wayJYVzmo41d7DCjQ8Bldn7IB9b1jcE4Hp2dv7kOJss-2SWE_RGU-/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZ2nUWYuEkKF6cqVvJ6oRa6kzWIFoMt35V43C2VL11XhgJDXyTWaaNFw0JHC1YLzWXChuPip1XASUjZlb5i_nqm5wayJYVzmo41d7DCjQ8Bldn7IB9b1jcE4Hp2dv7kOJss-2SWE_RGU-/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I don't know why the Ghost's always talk to me?</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">We watched her grow up on Party of Five, well you watched her, I actually had better shit to do, like, well, nothing really. Just wouldn't be caught dead watching that show. She followed up her turn as a child star with more grown up fare, playing the teen protagonist in campy horror movies. Which gave us some of the best cleavage jiggles in the history of film.</span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1DTjXayDM56wGdnVJM-n-f72CZkP0znPc_lqsoZH8qNatNX6Im6lrm7qQVXlPqe4ScDD6ouNd5zh5WN4EtNaXtgA-W2Xeu9sRJs720qhDD7_eUmoxUvkpTA4GuaMO_nSxtGRnPRJwUuiX/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1DTjXayDM56wGdnVJM-n-f72CZkP0znPc_lqsoZH8qNatNX6Im6lrm7qQVXlPqe4ScDD6ouNd5zh5WN4EtNaXtgA-W2Xeu9sRJs720qhDD7_eUmoxUvkpTA4GuaMO_nSxtGRnPRJwUuiX/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> I'm emoting!!!</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">After that she did a few other films that no one remembers, and a television show that we wish we didn't. All she seems to be known for now is some tabloid calling her fat.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhniSh894fPePP_qtM9RcCIUNWZfk2AqU_bnQNp5g8nDHqIVJXjsdeQ6VUp7HPaus3Pipsj1EtwqBcOBlPT5q0E_qzc50_iQhXP9-hIjDBMhlxDIzmFFAy621LkEEtNeZPVv7M8fn6hb3ws/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhniSh894fPePP_qtM9RcCIUNWZfk2AqU_bnQNp5g8nDHqIVJXjsdeQ6VUp7HPaus3Pipsj1EtwqBcOBlPT5q0E_qzc50_iQhXP9-hIjDBMhlxDIzmFFAy621LkEEtNeZPVv7M8fn6hb3ws/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Phat Titties!</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><span style="font-size: large">Salma Hayek</span></i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">The Latin flavor that graces our list comes from a beautiful actress that I remember mostly for her roles as a stripper.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADkyZJYuKFeA7lkC5u69m6A8PutAR4uK8i_UltFXNftQQ2zsa-m4n4SjW7soTiRX6r9WuJwFQahZKOYfDk5Gs4QYLyPj87t3oc63snBCYF3bYkj0tvXj9NIgftc1yyJGHvDljNcxWzosu/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADkyZJYuKFeA7lkC5u69m6A8PutAR4uK8i_UltFXNftQQ2zsa-m4n4SjW7soTiRX6r9WuJwFQahZKOYfDk5Gs4QYLyPj87t3oc63snBCYF3bYkj0tvXj9NIgftc1yyJGHvDljNcxWzosu/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: large"> </span>a stripper angel</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDe-YCwi5je8M9m1JecqvfT_8SUbdBeS2Kmd-VXtWmcwEMGl8_xVbpYh_VYugaT87WPif5DaBMXZrjbGdF3mQGIl0O1kVXc_vWBtkxI4HA0YXQG0afV9IkKfC6LkuLCH_juQw1zPgwtneN/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDe-YCwi5je8M9m1JecqvfT_8SUbdBeS2Kmd-VXtWmcwEMGl8_xVbpYh_VYugaT87WPif5DaBMXZrjbGdF3mQGIl0O1kVXc_vWBtkxI4HA0YXQG0afV9IkKfC6LkuLCH_juQw1zPgwtneN/s1600/aa.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> This Vampire doesn't sparkle</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">But unlike the last actress on our list this girl actually has some acclaim attached to her name. She garnered Academy attention with her portrayal of Frida Kahlo. Something about making hot chicks ugly really calls attention to an actress. FYI she does appear nude in the film, if you can get past the whole eyebrow thing.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8oKGbJVfN0Bx1qiIfjnj_3DGLo19xbxPX72czyRQ0la_pPMzXFj1gkNGJuKnQTFvLqdcKvXeMYEaFWWFH0M7ntf-95Io1iJYidTc_WFyiuCFnKLo-JxDie6GwbvNsG-uZNQQz0kvk9wXH/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8oKGbJVfN0Bx1qiIfjnj_3DGLo19xbxPX72czyRQ0la_pPMzXFj1gkNGJuKnQTFvLqdcKvXeMYEaFWWFH0M7ntf-95Io1iJYidTc_WFyiuCFnKLo-JxDie6GwbvNsG-uZNQQz0kvk9wXH/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> And it is hard to get past</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large">Charlize Theron</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">Speaking of making yourself ugly for a role in order to gain a little gold statue, I submit for your pleasure, a woman who actually won the Oscar.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjzoTGan-fnm0t1PnAuxiehMviFBI_42S6dEEAChrajxVYecz_IYH7W4GxM0par8flc5hRTxIenhs2UuTFvZz3CF7NNr_rpWjYzMjiW-eO6jBlaVrH5WVSjQSEDDmzPHK0qTPk2-2B1iim/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjzoTGan-fnm0t1PnAuxiehMviFBI_42S6dEEAChrajxVYecz_IYH7W4GxM0par8flc5hRTxIenhs2UuTFvZz3CF7NNr_rpWjYzMjiW-eO6jBlaVrH5WVSjQSEDDmzPHK0qTPk2-2B1iim/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span> </span><i>What some people will do for attention...</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Charlize's career is full of great material for the spank bank, she's a fucking model for God's sake. A personal favorite of mine is the rather crappy remake of a cartoon Aeon Flux.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSCKgI_sn4nQR0X3NnfXkmkCZkKB5Tp08aibAdmqknN8aPBGPpc9Fb3H_jrks5ZMeYVKGM58FSevZzLIdU0fmuM5hEY6gl4ridzZT3a7cK5mmgES6ueRnoovS3XnyQAlgtOaPeEbBGlYt_/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSCKgI_sn4nQR0X3NnfXkmkCZkKB5Tp08aibAdmqknN8aPBGPpc9Fb3H_jrks5ZMeYVKGM58FSevZzLIdU0fmuM5hEY6gl4ridzZT3a7cK5mmgES6ueRnoovS3XnyQAlgtOaPeEbBGlYt_/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Can't figure out why this didn't make $100 million, oh yeah,</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>the story was terrible. But still...</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">You can see Ms. Theron nude in the devils advocate, although you really don't want to. It was a really good movie and all, it's just that the circumstances behind the nudity... well let us not dwell on the negative, let's just look at another shot of her.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOApPEFKg8tfMaFt5MF30D4r5UtbUqmjvKqUfamwLfUqvD0SNzu7wHrhIdqbdDBTiJtqD20rooLpME4Z-NWd3X3bP3DmbMUIXB-GdTZubp_ePw2FK_4Kwr6Ou1cVZuBZ17P430W-SHOyPL/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOApPEFKg8tfMaFt5MF30D4r5UtbUqmjvKqUfamwLfUqvD0SNzu7wHrhIdqbdDBTiJtqD20rooLpME4Z-NWd3X3bP3DmbMUIXB-GdTZubp_ePw2FK_4Kwr6Ou1cVZuBZ17P430W-SHOyPL/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Oh the glorious side boob, is there anything better?</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large">Scarlett Johansson</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">Scarlett first came to my attention while watching a movie called Ghost World, which I only watched because my girlfriend at the time was a big Steve Buscemi fan and I was trying to get laid. Mission accomplished by the way. However it wasn't until recently that a really took note of all her talents.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2_9mGA7f1sMUNHw_4UIZ_nctQMcRE3kc_IXNMt1LZggUmSd_8Kt2JA71SBE1IDsAlk8SoVkdDnTM5055RxwWlLNqno96gXGeWt_C33eoAg4-53SaQmgzqfhc88WPuJhQwK4jicz9tRCtb/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2_9mGA7f1sMUNHw_4UIZ_nctQMcRE3kc_IXNMt1LZggUmSd_8Kt2JA71SBE1IDsAlk8SoVkdDnTM5055RxwWlLNqno96gXGeWt_C33eoAg4-53SaQmgzqfhc88WPuJhQwK4jicz9tRCtb/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span> </span><i>Pictured: Talent</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">The best thing about her is that she seems to know what it is that is making her a star and is by no means shy when it comes to showing it. Be it in period pieces...</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg325b0PVkVgPlvN8k_BbpuJORN8pjDi57cTH7HHxCnjcxV9dIsY0FbSrBauYKvfgtpFqPCMYyqeXnXXdDhxOahmqSUgggDYX7usiTw0J5PVMK38FffHVX4QH_q-Sazn2rmWsqAtBTYW6ww/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg325b0PVkVgPlvN8k_BbpuJORN8pjDi57cTH7HHxCnjcxV9dIsY0FbSrBauYKvfgtpFqPCMYyqeXnXXdDhxOahmqSUgggDYX7usiTw0J5PVMK38FffHVX4QH_q-Sazn2rmWsqAtBTYW6ww/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> huh huh huh... period</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Or even the more family friendly fare...</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIX-4o4oxDoquRv-ZOhenu5pVp0fX4L0kNp1SAPbKII7hWEBU2HEhyphenhyphenPTUIKl9Jd2-v9ZVoo0n-hAIL_hDY8U5uz3wnnfriuC2iFz-0AuI6zKaGO35mDAjceTzBFWU_81yIDC5BtDOaJ91X/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIX-4o4oxDoquRv-ZOhenu5pVp0fX4L0kNp1SAPbKII7hWEBU2HEhyphenhyphenPTUIKl9Jd2-v9ZVoo0n-hAIL_hDY8U5uz3wnnfriuC2iFz-0AuI6zKaGO35mDAjceTzBFWU_81yIDC5BtDOaJ91X/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Bet I know this kid's first memory</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Whatever might be the next shitty film she undertakes, we all just sit and pray that she never forgets why she is famous.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgckAx9572WxBZ745pdRgbLAZWn4ghdJ98TrK4TRD88t-Kq5GT6kb-vlpLKSKmu1Nv_EcfZPI_7suRJKmjXy5zKTLAC-th2srSS_9WuxFbD0rQUk3KUwH4spcPB_XJ0ie9N7Sh6sc3ypHVL/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgckAx9572WxBZ745pdRgbLAZWn4ghdJ98TrK4TRD88t-Kq5GT6kb-vlpLKSKmu1Nv_EcfZPI_7suRJKmjXy5zKTLAC-th2srSS_9WuxFbD0rQUk3KUwH4spcPB_XJ0ie9N7Sh6sc3ypHVL/s320/aa.jpg" width="320" height="239"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Whatever that reason might be</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Thus ends my opus, and will head back to writing all that shit that none of you want to read, chances are you're not even reading this now and all you did was look at the pretty pictures. Know your audience, that's what they say.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz_z2BF3-S5SP4fRwV9vTFG3U_DUJjLEyv9IiRBwMuwoR3f_fyeQ8r6IB14nugFHR1qCuwQyqmpHNJoVxWDigFudc-Vml-RVPUgkXqictcsnyeBQFxac_K6WGjB4exblqRLarb1DMbxjSB/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz_z2BF3-S5SP4fRwV9vTFG3U_DUJjLEyv9IiRBwMuwoR3f_fyeQ8r6IB14nugFHR1qCuwQyqmpHNJoVxWDigFudc-Vml-RVPUgkXqictcsnyeBQFxac_K6WGjB4exblqRLarb1DMbxjSB/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> What to talk about next?</i></span></span> </span><i><br></i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-37226145381936984992011-05-13T16:44:00.000-06:002011-05-13T16:44:11.961-06:00Ode to the Boobies<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float: right; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">
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</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />
Taking a suggestion from my friend, Mrs. Boobies, I decided to write a post on the most glorious boob shots in film history.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNuTH4P5vQjWSt6XGGdLm2P_6okJgHKWKa0xRAarBKhNydXNnBWShr43RWcBhzwRDyIiQdDbQPAOBBG6GdhZYrh6RQy0GJWSwyLkXhi97TxTRWOnt0rWajPFO4Dk3-ox2oNxxWPH-oU_E6/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNuTH4P5vQjWSt6XGGdLm2P_6okJgHKWKa0xRAarBKhNydXNnBWShr43RWcBhzwRDyIiQdDbQPAOBBG6GdhZYrh6RQy0GJWSwyLkXhi97TxTRWOnt0rWajPFO4Dk3-ox2oNxxWPH-oU_E6/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Not the type I'm talking about</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Where oh where to begin, how about some breasts that are part of Americana.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Phoebe Cates in Fast Times</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Take a shitty movie about coming of age high schooler's set in the early 1980's and you have, we can all agree, a complete waste of time. Spicoli, before he learned to act, pissing off Mr. Hand, and Judge Reinhold trying to act cool, poised as the next leading man. What's the best way to describe cinema of this fare?</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xRimkVhTRdtQ00Gzy4bX59_YwNc4c3HEfX2mDV_oO8r6k2DawvTFgO1jcWEToOBgrq3lMXWQFtwUS5KFVoWLTzJjAcUIDiDlY2WFJMI_ZSwn0oMD0Rf1KK7mB08L9ThGEnUcokQywAiG/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xRimkVhTRdtQ00Gzy4bX59_YwNc4c3HEfX2mDV_oO8r6k2DawvTFgO1jcWEToOBgrq3lMXWQFtwUS5KFVoWLTzJjAcUIDiDlY2WFJMI_ZSwn0oMD0Rf1KK7mB08L9ThGEnUcokQywAiG/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Bogus!</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">If only there were some way to make kids actually want to watch a movie like this... Shit, I've got it! Boooooobs!!!!</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-R7N3KABvFu05GbcHLuvU2POLbQc_SiWEXCVdpvSTH9D6h6prgKnbj2h3Xp_ecLusha_tWEooeHyaFkAl36Q08pYC0IwlzspbWFTsBcfZpA-dN4ytIZu_bUSWIBu6GiAN23iN26fUjjOI/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-R7N3KABvFu05GbcHLuvU2POLbQc_SiWEXCVdpvSTH9D6h6prgKnbj2h3Xp_ecLusha_tWEooeHyaFkAl36Q08pYC0IwlzspbWFTsBcfZpA-dN4ytIZu_bUSWIBu6GiAN23iN26fUjjOI/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Those are the ones I'm talking about!</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Every copy of this movie on VHS was impossible to watch because of stress lines on the tape. You see kids, before the Internet was a bastion for free porn, we all had to watch garbage like this. And because the scene is only thirty seconds long, give or take, and keeps getting interrupted by Judge Reinhold beating off, it was necessary to pause the tape at the sweet spot, causing stress on it, resulting in visible lines on the screen. We've seen now how boobs can save a bad movie is there a thing as boobs in a good movie?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkpN0qvG9cxO1V1pKD9e2YmVu9yjXsPF0St39NslZMlJTKHqvA1AQ4cV0si5zmuhGfqHIFxuUu4JfgWZTG9X0fs3rVQ-ljHX_AYR9naogXyPjy-7ejAOF4IPvbTzL3gr7KI6vhYuhEUrBe/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkpN0qvG9cxO1V1pKD9e2YmVu9yjXsPF0St39NslZMlJTKHqvA1AQ4cV0si5zmuhGfqHIFxuUu4JfgWZTG9X0fs3rVQ-ljHX_AYR9naogXyPjy-7ejAOF4IPvbTzL3gr7KI6vhYuhEUrBe/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Boobs make every movie good, no matter how absurd.</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">in Brokeback Mountain</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">A movie all about a love affair between two cowboys is not the type of thing we are talking about here, Zodiac. Maybe it's because this movie does have some rough man on man sex that Ang Lee decreed to the heavens "There must be BOOBS!"</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoiPDiv30ygjT9m878ufSZFiNIAo79XxEHSwadgdTuiHoAao6kwbjXvpGMcyVMEZEi1CM3JEzmxOO-o8he3qyIt2lQuKyXJyPiSya19iClmaFqjfB3Gl8jCcuoIaFMR_Qca-IwgdhaicY/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoiPDiv30ygjT9m878ufSZFiNIAo79XxEHSwadgdTuiHoAao6kwbjXvpGMcyVMEZEi1CM3JEzmxOO-o8he3qyIt2lQuKyXJyPiSya19iClmaFqjfB3Gl8jCcuoIaFMR_Qca-IwgdhaicY/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i>And Boobs there were, and it was good</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe it's just me, but there is something sexier about these mainstream actress' going topless for the sake of art that turns me on more than some ex-playmate whose casting couched her way into the stardom, allegedly.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglCCClz8_AxCT9KY8v3t85v4qUQcB_zRNRdduqraibeecCAwIvL-XyhjLUy1rPXPbOm-qafVhTs6jEJtMPrsriUAR-YRDL-5LTRQfr1oPSW2MZx3RsrEQzO5lq1zFunTxWrnIxrPHLnFdP/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglCCClz8_AxCT9KY8v3t85v4qUQcB_zRNRdduqraibeecCAwIvL-XyhjLUy1rPXPbOm-qafVhTs6jEJtMPrsriUAR-YRDL-5LTRQfr1oPSW2MZx3RsrEQzO5lq1zFunTxWrnIxrPHLnFdP/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Shhh... She has no idea I'm talking about her.</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not to mention spending three terrible years watching a boobless show on UPN wanting to see some sort of nudity, from anyone.</span><i> </i><span style="font-size: small;">Especially when the girl in question is supposed to be playing the slut role. Or the Girl next door whose all pure and innocent, I'd of taken either.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxAJ5D_uRjhx2E1cpVpwOhyphenhyphentCexn0AArdbE_Nuu9O5Y7bRV2gNKn6L2_mpjv6ovqhlOG0g_hAGcWtGjlAD8lqwfU-NesgYmseueFsw13kqxDa_nXZ2gdFPieqkO8zeUc7j9uzv6lbA6uDa/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxAJ5D_uRjhx2E1cpVpwOhyphenhyphentCexn0AArdbE_Nuu9O5Y7bRV2gNKn6L2_mpjv6ovqhlOG0g_hAGcWtGjlAD8lqwfU-NesgYmseueFsw13kqxDa_nXZ2gdFPieqkO8zeUc7j9uzv6lbA6uDa/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> Check out "The Gift "</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLr2LDxGki6IbAq5zyxYqK732xsVI59caYyn45vmW_QVEw6ddaysNn6dajJY7YLGhO9rxpQcsIOWITWkiUgIrlVrkOiMdLLQLVUHXwteoFngS6maQGWH8jFDKQd045qoP012OkMTe8qoX4/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLr2LDxGki6IbAq5zyxYqK732xsVI59caYyn45vmW_QVEw6ddaysNn6dajJY7YLGhO9rxpQcsIOWITWkiUgIrlVrkOiMdLLQLVUHXwteoFngS6maQGWH8jFDKQd045qoP012OkMTe8qoX4/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> "Huh huh huh, I saw Joey's boob's "</i></span></span> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>And we all saw yours.</i></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Gratuitous Boobs for the</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">sake of gratuity</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Is there ever a time in your life where you sit back and look at the decisions you've made and feel ashamed.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLi6av0pReqQuxw_UqTCkia1mu6j_HZHuF3mmzCKjbR3MV1mRBIIpYall6ZnJ540sDNHYHorOGf2O09utR2Fn6ChwEwlrkzMPt84gB6I2LCDRDWIOfZsMFyybT8yBnPr4JtQxcMKL04CQA/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLi6av0pReqQuxw_UqTCkia1mu6j_HZHuF3mmzCKjbR3MV1mRBIIpYall6ZnJ540sDNHYHorOGf2O09utR2Fn6ChwEwlrkzMPt84gB6I2LCDRDWIOfZsMFyybT8yBnPr4JtQxcMKL04CQA/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i> Don't know what I'm talking about?</i></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">A personal sort of spank bank fare that makes you feel embarrassed while taking it to the video counter?</span><i> </i></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXZdD07K-bKZYMGt1rYi7JIbKfUAs7B2zi4ZPiey4-9a0ychQGyS1s3OH9QrO4dQ11JIxChfl82afBsJumcQHgmCurATnXC1gFzDpTJfINt2INvFvYNOozF1VSBM-1fY1ODTB779BaBmKO/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXZdD07K-bKZYMGt1rYi7JIbKfUAs7B2zi4ZPiey4-9a0ychQGyS1s3OH9QrO4dQ11JIxChfl82afBsJumcQHgmCurATnXC1gFzDpTJfINt2INvFvYNOozF1VSBM-1fY1ODTB779BaBmKO/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I could just be some sort of pervert?</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Something that you would never admit in public that you watched, over, and over, again?</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnl33ZCqplMjUoO49EjVZTbqty_Gmro_jUdVdq86q9B5OPIV-JGMMHkM82ZyoCM6rdZQyEr6r9HSEbOLPmHjKiOvybnJkVrFjkoB9reAMe18r5SehB8rUPDp9DrM11xqg6TfUmPBTitOB/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnl33ZCqplMjUoO49EjVZTbqty_Gmro_jUdVdq86q9B5OPIV-JGMMHkM82ZyoCM6rdZQyEr6r9HSEbOLPmHjKiOvybnJkVrFjkoB9reAMe18r5SehB8rUPDp9DrM11xqg6TfUmPBTitOB/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> I thought it was about Robert Johnson, I swear</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe I'm the only one who has ever felt confused?</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4QgGUGC41chLFxpMP3peCfRlZLOz4_at_Y1WObQHDnHBbaxxIYkmGTMq5HG3thyphenhyphen0Mg51L0pAoOiL1y5xmmZICJZeD0iG9e46YdnQE_FL7vGFmAlhF33RenZgEZBfsQQKjQyaR3oR3u7SC/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4QgGUGC41chLFxpMP3peCfRlZLOz4_at_Y1WObQHDnHBbaxxIYkmGTMq5HG3thyphenhyphen0Mg51L0pAoOiL1y5xmmZICJZeD0iG9e46YdnQE_FL7vGFmAlhF33RenZgEZBfsQQKjQyaR3oR3u7SC/s320/a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Okay, this was really just for shit's and giggle's</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I guess what I'm getting at here is that as long as I have testicles, I am going to want to watch movies, no matter how bad they might be, with boobs. Be it a side boob, a little bit of cleavage, or the full blown titty. There will never be a film to bad to watch, as long as the mammories remain ample, I like asses too.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_yHVmWZ03NGt92sHpxnL9Jy4gpsxgW7p-HhjahKidE4b1laE482F0mNaRhIZJEQvutPtKTFUa4oX7uV_MNKjyqw1X2VON7J1chO7-p1Q-Kr95BxG5DRG23pnHhL-uq68eu29I0OLX6EQ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_yHVmWZ03NGt92sHpxnL9Jy4gpsxgW7p-HhjahKidE4b1laE482F0mNaRhIZJEQvutPtKTFUa4oX7uV_MNKjyqw1X2VON7J1chO7-p1Q-Kr95BxG5DRG23pnHhL-uq68eu29I0OLX6EQ/s320/a.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Yes that is a Bikini, you're so smart and funny!</i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> </i></span> </span><i><br />
</i></span></div>Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-61175097237391680582011-05-08T19:27:00.000-06:002011-05-08T19:28:27.270-06:00Posting<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/05/posting.html";digg_title = "Posting";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />I haven't posted in a while and just want everyone to know that despite what all of you are telling me to do, I am not going to quit. I would like to say that work has got me down and I have been really busy lately, but we all know that's complete bullshit. To be honest I've been streaming Monk on Netflix while playing Final Fantasy 13. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAPM50LS9QR3y4Sefm2caQuV8BQfRUked7pMDllPv6gSGD951XVzEoyfDIQ-wHuKUVl0wcLGJizsLhCBkO77mgyk4t8xdqdjmV6ocnaemAOCdDASqXUQVZgFhnXe90zTb5nfy_VChgg4TV/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAPM50LS9QR3y4Sefm2caQuV8BQfRUked7pMDllPv6gSGD951XVzEoyfDIQ-wHuKUVl0wcLGJizsLhCBkO77mgyk4t8xdqdjmV6ocnaemAOCdDASqXUQVZgFhnXe90zTb5nfy_VChgg4TV/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Fucking Love Monk!</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now I ask you to help me out here, how about some fucking suggestions? I could sit here and tell you all how banal the last movie I watched was, but that's hardly entertaining. Especially when it wasn't.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRxoncoupr3_ew3UdtEQCUpX575JnTHzf_I05t4apmk8gDM4IpnMvk94pavZh1GiyQhh1_ONdAZfPx3gerUsCRRTxuihFoTnYeXKhL9QKT5pfDXqmp-LyA0b2z-jm0O5kDlm06ww-Tm4CP/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRxoncoupr3_ew3UdtEQCUpX575JnTHzf_I05t4apmk8gDM4IpnMvk94pavZh1GiyQhh1_ONdAZfPx3gerUsCRRTxuihFoTnYeXKhL9QKT5pfDXqmp-LyA0b2z-jm0O5kDlm06ww-Tm4CP/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>It was great, go ahead and watch it!</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> </i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Of course I realize that you all are so busy that it is, without a doubt, beyond your ability to even write comments, so maybe I'm asking to much of you, my faithful, and humble readers. Even considering that of my ten followers, which sadly I am one, can't figure out how I did it and damned if I'm going to try to figure out how to remove myself, I personally know half of you, and me. Kori, looking your way sweetie, help me out a little here, I voted for the toolbox/toy box! I admit that as of late I have been a little discouraged, and having a serve narcissistic personality, it has crossed my mind to give it all up. Then again, if I did, how could I make Pat giggle?</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhulXpS17l4svZSRxXNdyCuEo254Xe5_IbBE6NQEYymvy7kNn_KGkh5Yd1Sq9IDBETyOZ4bEIFFPbyoDoWdY21aujQMABLwGP3_FvTTLtkGU6CDg8fhlozNDEFbInooMix1ImVfEFSULg7d/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhulXpS17l4svZSRxXNdyCuEo254Xe5_IbBE6NQEYymvy7kNn_KGkh5Yd1Sq9IDBETyOZ4bEIFFPbyoDoWdY21aujQMABLwGP3_FvTTLtkGU6CDg8fhlozNDEFbInooMix1ImVfEFSULg7d/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> " My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad. "</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Kevin Smith quotes always do it for Patty</i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-44928474673772876072011-04-24T12:55:00.000-06:002011-04-24T12:57:29.721-06:005 films made better by last minute acting changes<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/04/5-films-made-better-by-last-minute.html";digg_title = "5 films made better by last minute acting changes";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />Think of every one of your favorite movies and the actors that made the roles iconic, now replace that actor with Clint Howard.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5VuQFMyPE1B5Nh3FRUV7Rmxus8hbfous2u-R0IfcNwaCl3a6pjR_GJQ94mk4XRe88bltTbQafDo-jRZbTpKol9crtkL4M6F_uP057qyx-nCbuMiwLCrQemlgJLrJOb4X-vKqNt4rbYWg/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5VuQFMyPE1B5Nh3FRUV7Rmxus8hbfous2u-R0IfcNwaCl3a6pjR_GJQ94mk4XRe88bltTbQafDo-jRZbTpKol9crtkL4M6F_uP057qyx-nCbuMiwLCrQemlgJLrJOb4X-vKqNt4rbYWg/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>"You want me to be Batman?"</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The way that Hollywood works, this could actually be a reality. Due to conflicting schedules, pressures from studio heads, and even the occasional, but rare, the actor is demanding to much money, some of our favorite characters could have been very, very, different. How different you ask?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">John Travolta as Forrest Gump</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">The man who brought raw emotion to Mr. Kotter's class as Vinny Barbarino was originally cast to play the plucky manchild who, despite his mental deficiencies, went on to quite the amazing life. You know what, maybe it was the role he was born to play. </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7SXak0taMlADZDzX_akPP4JxbdFmTZz5pfrmS2N8ijpZZ1B7TqPgAWbpOBSXzCVKlFFaOQQLjJrYjS6sKeX-XYgqzmHkz_XNpOjzDD-46V53JBD4PBNv7JijNK6d4C-LxE3RXW1oeUbMX/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7SXak0taMlADZDzX_akPP4JxbdFmTZz5pfrmS2N8ijpZZ1B7TqPgAWbpOBSXzCVKlFFaOQQLjJrYjS6sKeX-XYgqzmHkz_XNpOjzDD-46V53JBD4PBNv7JijNK6d4C-LxE3RXW1oeUbMX/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Shown here; raw emotion</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">After seeing Tom Hanks play the role of Forrest it is admittedly hard to conceive of anyone else bringing the heart wrenching portrayal, especially the man who brought us Battlefield Earth. I admit I like Travolta in some of his roles, Pulp Fiction anyone, but can't seem to get past the thought that he would have gone full retard.</span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDpuneq8kuJtd8jFLxuTasecTXN4isMlW_Yz5ALgS9UZLmi_Z7VW3LvHQHcqp4Kk42z4E34iW1YdynTwFfVjiId2GyAIMpjbjaRAsmWcmmkf31eLZw6AcZa1WxIY1Pn-bOEjQoFwLjlTl/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDpuneq8kuJtd8jFLxuTasecTXN4isMlW_Yz5ALgS9UZLmi_Z7VW3LvHQHcqp4Kk42z4E34iW1YdynTwFfVjiId2GyAIMpjbjaRAsmWcmmkf31eLZw6AcZa1WxIY1Pn-bOEjQoFwLjlTl/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> You never go full retard!</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bill Murray as Batman</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">We've all learned growing up that "Bill Murray is the shit." That was the first sentence I ever spoke, and my overly conservative parents decided that was the first time I would know the taste of soap. Take Mr. Murray and any shitty comedy script, put them together, and you have gold. Don't believe me, go watch The Man Who Knew To Little. Exactly.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCjDHJD0DORZ1apD4wH_ZlI-in-Rflj1L1his5kC-JHdJgUVODM6_by_OKrcrTeJadRRa2Xx3Pa3fVipw1EWH-b9N1SXBDBWrrqizbrbFFo8A-cw8pfS4pZP2onvLc4Sljaqb8R6d3kD7Y/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCjDHJD0DORZ1apD4wH_ZlI-in-Rflj1L1his5kC-JHdJgUVODM6_by_OKrcrTeJadRRa2Xx3Pa3fVipw1EWH-b9N1SXBDBWrrqizbrbFFo8A-cw8pfS4pZP2onvLc4Sljaqb8R6d3kD7Y/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span><i>Pure comedy</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alas, as much respect I have for him, he would make a terrible Batman. Not the old school Adam West Batman, which is what they wanted him to be, but the Tim Burton Dark Knight, which is why he lost out on the role. Michael Keaton would be cast to replace him and rightfully so, because we all know that Burton has no sense of humor.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4mHWnTCUFlt79vV-nA1AZTdZcUUD2VbzBToRYherGuKF81lDTd-5oVD5kWdPwBWUKA0fUc2rhohsyzSLGz7ci6hY1dewhyphenhyphenqpNcuKIJ93z8zDTV1y5rweCGCnymZZdqfD6_lDrvAavRmP/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4mHWnTCUFlt79vV-nA1AZTdZcUUD2VbzBToRYherGuKF81lDTd-5oVD5kWdPwBWUKA0fUc2rhohsyzSLGz7ci6hY1dewhyphenhyphenqpNcuKIJ93z8zDTV1y5rweCGCnymZZdqfD6_lDrvAavRmP/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Joel Schumacher however...</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Godfather</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is a twofer. Originally cast in the role of Don Corleone, was Sir Lawrence Olivier, and his son Michael was to be played by none other than Robert DeNiro. This entry is a little different because both actors are well acclaimed and rightfully so.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTWFXAbTo7YiFoN8n6lZN6VHDd69FOpsTDd75RMTkI2WPj9PnOxN0g0RCj-JmEJB18sHc0ggOmY0Mh-FE_QL4nUidhOrNF7H2yBfFcJXX7HDjUpP76fXbzSvIGMbvm8D-E_PJIsi4QqK0P/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTWFXAbTo7YiFoN8n6lZN6VHDd69FOpsTDd75RMTkI2WPj9PnOxN0g0RCj-JmEJB18sHc0ggOmY0Mh-FE_QL4nUidhOrNF7H2yBfFcJXX7HDjUpP76fXbzSvIGMbvm8D-E_PJIsi4QqK0P/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span><i>They used to be acclaimed, anyway.</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Had Olivier not been sick, and Coppola not been so insistent, we would have never seen Kleenex become the most ingeniously used prop, outside of porno, ever. As for DeNiro, he would have torn up the role of Michael, probably earning and Oscar, just like he did by playing a younger version of the Don in Part Two. Which only leads to the question, who would have played the young Don had Robert been cast as Michael?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5VuQFMyPE1B5Nh3FRUV7Rmxus8hbfous2u-R0IfcNwaCl3a6pjR_GJQ94mk4XRe88bltTbQafDo-jRZbTpKol9crtkL4M6F_uP057qyx-nCbuMiwLCrQemlgJLrJOb4X-vKqNt4rbYWg/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5VuQFMyPE1B5Nh3FRUV7Rmxus8hbfous2u-R0IfcNwaCl3a6pjR_GJQ94mk4XRe88bltTbQafDo-jRZbTpKol9crtkL4M6F_uP057qyx-nCbuMiwLCrQemlgJLrJOb4X-vKqNt4rbYWg/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> "I can learn to speak Italian."</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is a hard one because it's really easy to replace great actors from one genre with great actors from that same genre. But what happens when you try to replace a robot with a tool in a sci fi film?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Will Smith as Neo</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">The fresh prince in all his cocky swagger was the one. Who is the one you ask, go back a few posts and read my review of the Matrix. It's a mix between The Chronicles of Narnia and the Terminator where the Jesus allegory Neo fights the machines for the fate of the human race.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNgbC5yybTKCto1uZ4bJ8OPQP0XJuxxFD6ABwpqDS2yf83Q1htU8HIJQf9m3YUIAnayjQujzTUlLum92lUir_jKaL3Qlqa8h2pVk1PgsH1IH_LU0Ye4DBu1DLi0cfGd5Qo3G5XAOFWz07T/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNgbC5yybTKCto1uZ4bJ8OPQP0XJuxxFD6ABwpqDS2yf83Q1htU8HIJQf9m3YUIAnayjQujzTUlLum92lUir_jKaL3Qlqa8h2pVk1PgsH1IH_LU0Ye4DBu1DLi0cfGd5Qo3G5XAOFWz07T/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span> </span><i>"I'm playing Jesus? Whoa!"</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thankfully, this concept was a little to hard for Will Smith to understand. I can not picture Smith, using his swagger and smarmy street talk, pulling of the doubtful disbelief that is required of the character. The movie is all about a man being told he is Jesus and not believing it, and requires a humble robot to enforce this fact. But don't worry about Will Smith, he filmed another blockbuster instead.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnOsJtVJnGCRtIWGEySbIxgBtVa6UM0g2PSY-OBpIVQ0HmrJEHt9AR5SVU7nuCtaMLC2E8mBz5kMNqRQdYfTUxkydHuSjBETSW3QrJb2zZLAL7YWY4FCSI7klQYRHHFXltRQj6cjBIUQPQ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnOsJtVJnGCRtIWGEySbIxgBtVa6UM0g2PSY-OBpIVQ0HmrJEHt9AR5SVU7nuCtaMLC2E8mBz5kMNqRQdYfTUxkydHuSjBETSW3QrJb2zZLAL7YWY4FCSI7klQYRHHFXltRQj6cjBIUQPQ/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> This was a hit right?</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;">Neil Diamond as Travis Bickle</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Wait, what the fuck. Really?</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtnbrv4Yvpb3Hkw66waQ4QJAoyJc8HT-6fsXh2bNFWrS0aCd14b2qbme7mBPP9pU-JLTlC9y6iwVM5HQK99vsgJW6NiSlMI37ojF_HybKY11urcZxR-oYmLia6-XFcrpRGuHFTNVA3gW1x/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtnbrv4Yvpb3Hkw66waQ4QJAoyJc8HT-6fsXh2bNFWrS0aCd14b2qbme7mBPP9pU-JLTlC9y6iwVM5HQK99vsgJW6NiSlMI37ojF_HybKY11urcZxR-oYmLia6-XFcrpRGuHFTNVA3gW1x/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfr5Ct6WlpgDHg8xFUQjlJ_pIFII7nC5aZ5ppIkhYiZm5BcOdnVba4eqdd5hi8wyQdbQ5GWnOXaGgBxaxWSRUkAhS4Mvb_uvQyJtCFGgyVl9OduBlmK4uzp7vwmN8FQ22mjY3aLiw9O0Sd/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfr5Ct6WlpgDHg8xFUQjlJ_pIFII7nC5aZ5ppIkhYiZm5BcOdnVba4eqdd5hi8wyQdbQ5GWnOXaGgBxaxWSRUkAhS4Mvb_uvQyJtCFGgyVl9OduBlmK4uzp7vwmN8FQ22mjY3aLiw9O0Sd/s1600/aa.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span><i>OK I guess I see it.</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I must state that I am not making this shit up. Neil Diamond the multi platinum recording artist was staged to cock block Robert DeNiro in one of his most iconic roles. Diamond, instead, filmed The Jazz Singer, according to IMDB, his only starring role, and then fell back into what he does best, making music that when I sing, gets me picked on by the cool kids. As for DeNiro, who ended up with the role, nothing else became of him and he floated away into the flotsam that is Hollywood, rumor has it he ended up doing porn.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpfcvmdH4ovk87JR1VewuUKK7TQDg6278Zz1alpr0GQk3MYhsPf7S7Tf3oUhkHbhMu1TZa7IGVSkM41uDZI5g5jgX9ZPXm9iKRkXS-dS86cD2KDA5PUEul_civHkWM-bo1gmFm5Rt3qOzi/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpfcvmdH4ovk87JR1VewuUKK7TQDg6278Zz1alpr0GQk3MYhsPf7S7Tf3oUhkHbhMu1TZa7IGVSkM41uDZI5g5jgX9ZPXm9iKRkXS-dS86cD2KDA5PUEul_civHkWM-bo1gmFm5Rt3qOzi/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> Terrible actor, fucking great musician.</i></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> </i></span></span> </span><i><br /></i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-7686290879054019692011-04-14T01:50:00.000-06:002011-04-14T01:52:51.324-06:00The worst movie adaptation of a famous book<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/04/worst-movie-adaptation-of-famous-book.html";digg_title = "The worst movie adaptation of a famous book";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>In preparation for the upcoming cinematic version of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand I want to take a look at one of the worst movies ever to be made from amazing source material.<br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii9xmVs7YaMhX_a58w-IA_VA9K2RXMpSspc92UCJyMTEhyphenhyphen3PvaI28BuUJApZ3q7ZKg7On2AcKX9E8hFH5X8SUNr8Or5XbbCok9vajSBbDVgMYDQ8DphMsrR3PxOGtOFiVWIDHAhgoXfZ36/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii9xmVs7YaMhX_a58w-IA_VA9K2RXMpSspc92UCJyMTEhyphenhyphen3PvaI28BuUJApZ3q7ZKg7On2AcKX9E8hFH5X8SUNr8Or5XbbCok9vajSBbDVgMYDQ8DphMsrR3PxOGtOFiVWIDHAhgoXfZ36/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I said amazing source material</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I of course am referring to 1984 by George Orwell. An in depth look at a dystopian future and a precautionary tale of a Totalitarian government run amok. "Big Brother is watching you" has worked it's way into the lexicon of our modern age and rightly so, the idea of a government spying on it's own citizens becomes more and more of a possibility.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLXh8dT7fLiTdqkYfG5rEIVCTjpnhPyS2eNbv_1YTcmnq-bwK_IJxTsCLuMOHqyKmm0rvzj4ebgInf0BUqNDv58gwRlp5K_MF0spm91x8rXG9Tn_7leblcOJE1kXvcl_NDH1pRlSI1Qxu6/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLXh8dT7fLiTdqkYfG5rEIVCTjpnhPyS2eNbv_1YTcmnq-bwK_IJxTsCLuMOHqyKmm0rvzj4ebgInf0BUqNDv58gwRlp5K_MF0spm91x8rXG9Tn_7leblcOJE1kXvcl_NDH1pRlSI1Qxu6/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I thought San Francisco was in Iraq.</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">The book deals with the intricacies of English Socialism, the destruction of words through the use of New Speak, and, of course, the control of people through double think. The drama of the story is in the mind of the hero Winston as he commits the only real crime left, thought crime. Hopefully you, my educated, handsome, or gorgeous for the ladies, readers out there can see why this would fail on screen.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjUF0ticQ4m3eenT4v_fRFw9_mQYi4lVzgAGLaUyP12TuUqIipdY0ySfeY4wVLIfQzkTTsPIoikd41Li0__Q7ogV2QvMRyR-HL7Q6ObVV_jokIQ-rjXgpFmvaxuA2wDv-_KxfpzsLUvxFJ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjUF0ticQ4m3eenT4v_fRFw9_mQYi4lVzgAGLaUyP12TuUqIipdY0ySfeY4wVLIfQzkTTsPIoikd41Li0__Q7ogV2QvMRyR-HL7Q6ObVV_jokIQ-rjXgpFmvaxuA2wDv-_KxfpzsLUvxFJ/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>A rough sampling of my readers</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">When the drama takes place in the main characters head, and he is dealing with a very involved look at the depths of a twisted government, it's kind of hard to project that on the screen, and with any literary adaptation, that isn't a children's book, there are concepts that are either dropped or not fully fleshed out. There just isn't enough screen time to fit it all in.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUCbBYr_p_qkzR5mCb5quaHPqda3ODRM747nLrB4880wbrSu9VocElxJd96rr5uKzUtjN9cpUOf7gIk5toI08GNHmiOMAltiApCMBB69y271xJgxVbBTXgyKOOPzIUfWUpT21mecS4Ya7L/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUCbBYr_p_qkzR5mCb5quaHPqda3ODRM747nLrB4880wbrSu9VocElxJd96rr5uKzUtjN9cpUOf7gIk5toI08GNHmiOMAltiApCMBB69y271xJgxVbBTXgyKOOPzIUfWUpT21mecS4Ya7L/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> The entire book made it to film, sparkling and all.</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Orwell crafted one of the best stories ever written, a cautionary tale full of insight into what a government might become if left unchecked. He invented the language of New Speak and even put in an addendum explaining why it was necessary for control of the people of Oceania and the governing rules that apply. The movie showed some torture and briefly skimmed over the rest of the material. To prove why the book is so powerful and the movie so vague, we need only to look at the three tenets of Ingsoc: War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Strength. The book makes us understand these, the movie... well, find out for yourselves.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvaRttcYXQH324JeYNnjkfOWQOsRvrk8lwfdNNe_K9xFw6scy_t3JawYR89nKtfm9DOJERvKsBma2Hiv7LiaBldGm_WdTNLWYmHcdnJXJmXbN4bmmMNj-9_ll2sYfDKsOd08VwNkh-7Wh/s1600/b.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvaRttcYXQH324JeYNnjkfOWQOsRvrk8lwfdNNe_K9xFw6scy_t3JawYR89nKtfm9DOJERvKsBma2Hiv7LiaBldGm_WdTNLWYmHcdnJXJmXbN4bmmMNj-9_ll2sYfDKsOd08VwNkh-7Wh/s1600/b.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> "What if instead of explaining things, we just have shit randomly blow up?"</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Now, a desperate attempt to get some comments. What is your opinion on the worst literary adaptation ever aborted by Hollywood? Leave your comments and I will belittle your opinion and tell you how your book/movie is still not as bad as mine.</span><i> </i></span></span><i> </i></span></span></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-15511127261757854472011-04-05T22:44:00.000-06:002011-04-05T22:46:36.070-06:00The Matrix<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/04/matrix.html";digg_title = "The Matrix";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>Last night I went on a marathon viewing session that started with the Matrix, and many smoke breaks later, ended with the Matrix Revolutions.<br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe1sHyUJTo_8qItgfiVzJzcML1TSrbYUAY6e_Z5TWRic3JbV-M9bwGYxcQF01jzHDfvDyCgfWiWF1mNgDlEf-ski5ZL_OkliuIT1mtg-LZHmbGZ4MUZvMEkd89hryHJC1dE-rg3ZRdPLLL/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe1sHyUJTo_8qItgfiVzJzcML1TSrbYUAY6e_Z5TWRic3JbV-M9bwGYxcQF01jzHDfvDyCgfWiWF1mNgDlEf-ski5ZL_OkliuIT1mtg-LZHmbGZ4MUZvMEkd89hryHJC1dE-rg3ZRdPLLL/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I might have a problem.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I was still in High School when the first movie came out and I remember a certain clique of pre-hipster kids getting all excited for it. I, like always, waited for it to come out on video and have to say, I was impressed. I mean, fuck man, BULLET TIME!! The first movie combined a perfect mix of action, disbelief, dogma, and board like acting from Keanu Reeves. Then it somehow went horribly wrong.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ALBYJ1t6Tm3YoX09tsjDGc6IGJ2xpMXR35sLmUwrRSuzRBmDy02KHJYeX1PWKpVvyRaY-NY4B55ZXSnWZZstR5__f-O-sU_9g1XrwY0hIePzt1E3o4m-xPy4iz8yxa9mw1hfKAasjdz9/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ALBYJ1t6Tm3YoX09tsjDGc6IGJ2xpMXR35sLmUwrRSuzRBmDy02KHJYeX1PWKpVvyRaY-NY4B55ZXSnWZZstR5__f-O-sU_9g1XrwY0hIePzt1E3o4m-xPy4iz8yxa9mw1hfKAasjdz9/s1600/a.jpg"></a><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNSfTMlgOLLFfVdu6VTQgixCjnspZzDI1Zydtn-32A-nqQ1yfA5qc6x4r9wtFr-Y5oIrz9VwHxd5b8ls0_7kgWuQISa6zh0RtTGNn_37AU4EA7suudg0sn8e8tclFJhrVC-DjhYX2Sjto6/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNSfTMlgOLLFfVdu6VTQgixCjnspZzDI1Zydtn-32A-nqQ1yfA5qc6x4r9wtFr-Y5oIrz9VwHxd5b8ls0_7kgWuQISa6zh0RtTGNn_37AU4EA7suudg0sn8e8tclFJhrVC-DjhYX2Sjto6/s1600/aa.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>One of these things stared in Bill and Ted, after that, he lost all human emotions.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Now before I start getting reamed by all of you people and your fancy minor degrees in philosophy, let me say that was the part of the movie I enjoyed. I get that parts were supposed to be vague, the whole "we cannot see past our decisions that we don't understand," and "the Merovingian can make cake that will make you cum." I just can't help but feel a little cheated on the mythos because we had to fit so many fight scenes in.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhon8Bof8cJX0KyWnvH6HCHqIcqNYnZUxBj3VC2KwHX6Isjk0IbFPhhzDD5PYvziobS8F2aVrJVfUCVxRnLreXaES6fXBTwH-Uby_LXJXWy9cZrBcG3gtC6wpzjOwL9au4WPDvgjjg7a4nZ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhon8Bof8cJX0KyWnvH6HCHqIcqNYnZUxBj3VC2KwHX6Isjk0IbFPhhzDD5PYvziobS8F2aVrJVfUCVxRnLreXaES6fXBTwH-Uby_LXJXWy9cZrBcG3gtC6wpzjOwL9au4WPDvgjjg7a4nZ/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> "I would've put in more explosions"</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Let's go through them shall we: <i>Reloaded</i>: Trinity fights the people at the power station; Neo fights the agents, unprovoked temple dancing, while not a fight, completely unnecessary; Neo fights Seraph; Neo fights the Smiths; Neo versus the Merovingian's henchmen; Trinity and Morpheous against the Twins and Agents on the Freeway; Everyone taking out the power grid; Neo and Morpheous against more Smiths; Trinity at the power station, again, then against an Agent; Neo blows up the sentinels; and that is just one film. Revolutions isn't much better, in fact, it's worse. To not bore the shit out of you I won't go into it here.</span><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigrx_odyDPZlWBJGrNbxXHqvnmQFOm9JYGnaQpFDY90bsdnHlUyRSq7Wg_6WCmgkbqiWRUyKGEPUhbNOXeHVL0_fNpZYvLct-pWzYTLbfWFCJ5-orPhCiMIkyntaJChrpmAsdzURExeXwr/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigrx_odyDPZlWBJGrNbxXHqvnmQFOm9JYGnaQpFDY90bsdnHlUyRSq7Wg_6WCmgkbqiWRUyKGEPUhbNOXeHVL0_fNpZYvLct-pWzYTLbfWFCJ5-orPhCiMIkyntaJChrpmAsdzURExeXwr/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Shit, I lost you didn't I?</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">All I'm saying is that if you are going to create some deep philosophical story, then stick to it. I realize the need for fighting and action in this action film, and don't need to be reminded how awesome bullet time is. The Matrix was a classic allegory, and the sequels opened the door to something much bigger, much deeper, only in cliffs notes version because no one had thrown a punch in five minutes.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhITbTTFxDHa1cWXYEU6SopRDn04owc8i0BzcsqX9vhPr0rkHkqRKs9jU0V8vOvYb4e17eRwj4vZer0_-5IB7CO__lR7uRIcOvWXvfAv9wjL5sL_Lb_WduUpmE-3EOTIvj9Klcqxs_MK0b/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhITbTTFxDHa1cWXYEU6SopRDn04owc8i0BzcsqX9vhPr0rkHkqRKs9jU0V8vOvYb4e17eRwj4vZer0_-5IB7CO__lR7uRIcOvWXvfAv9wjL5sL_Lb_WduUpmE-3EOTIvj9Klcqxs_MK0b/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> This would've required less fast forwarding.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-36137656636796598532011-04-03T04:31:00.000-06:002011-04-03T04:34:19.074-06:00Famous Celebrities and their Outrageously Hot Daughters<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/04/famous-celebrities-and-their.html";digg_title = "Famous Celebrities and their Outrageously Hot Daughters";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>Being famous has its perks, namely having sex with many beautiful women. Sometimes these women get pregnant, "accidentally," even though they assure you that they are on the pill and probably barren anyway so there is no need to wear that condom. Luckily for us, these happy accidents sometimes make us have happy accidents, in our pants, masturbation jokes are funny.<br><br> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Steven and Liv Tyler</b></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSVkJ51qQJmUI8xIkXmghEAzaMNkAEVeKqn-I17igjaFrGE4lHIUbhUvUC-h8xNMd5IhmX_qMk5hQsPA2JaUMe8wi6KoWxww7VCfh67hbdTbnE32YaiROlRhvNWKc5OwfRU35ZnhgfsRH/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSVkJ51qQJmUI8xIkXmghEAzaMNkAEVeKqn-I17igjaFrGE4lHIUbhUvUC-h8xNMd5IhmX_qMk5hQsPA2JaUMe8wi6KoWxww7VCfh67hbdTbnE32YaiROlRhvNWKc5OwfRU35ZnhgfsRH/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">This old recovering junkie with permanent duck face is, for those of you who didn't know, a rock star, not just a judge on American Idol. Back when he was still making music he could, and probably did, have any woman he wanted. Fat or thin, young or old, real or imaginary, Steven, in true rock star fashion, did them all. He probably even nailed the hot young girls in his videos, all except one, hopefully.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghbzmcaa8UKy-v-91NU1XTETxk1IpnFSbJVfsbrt74mfBNoVWaEkpDZXpXpUhDRkOTzkQvOCP-IrQ81pmw1W-x6ECI_2C8MImFBdYkZ0wZ8_kkJ48DnVYRpGtHPwPuhfr6eVBpXZlcw7ny/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghbzmcaa8UKy-v-91NU1XTETxk1IpnFSbJVfsbrt74mfBNoVWaEkpDZXpXpUhDRkOTzkQvOCP-IrQ81pmw1W-x6ECI_2C8MImFBdYkZ0wZ8_kkJ48DnVYRpGtHPwPuhfr6eVBpXZlcw7ny/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><i><span style="font-size: x-small">Am I a good stripper Daddy?</span></i></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Just so everyone knows, writing that caption made me feel dirty. That is Steven's daughter Liv, and that is a shot from Aerosmith's music video for Crazy. This is what happens when a rock legend knocks up a Playboy Playmate. Liv has earned her own place in Americana by appearing in The Lord of the Rings and shitty horror movies, but for me her place in the spank bank will always be on stage, stripping for Alicia Silverstone to the soundtrack of her daddy's music. I'm going to go take a shower now.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiwQwp36-Hm8fpUEklHJmHZRr9Z50rUJGcmywxiA_HyCfA0ovwvobGI4QUac2WadWNgkuUUDeD5Zaq0cBlVKr38aj39u7clLd0MrPIp1Sy-kCpoM8spT1-DLus8038WwU0zwxn0ojLAxhJ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiwQwp36-Hm8fpUEklHJmHZRr9Z50rUJGcmywxiA_HyCfA0ovwvobGI4QUac2WadWNgkuUUDeD5Zaq0cBlVKr38aj39u7clLd0MrPIp1Sy-kCpoM8spT1-DLus8038WwU0zwxn0ojLAxhJ/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>My first menage a trois</i></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Chris and Abby Elliott</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1H3Bxik5ZLHhhXkXcUUT5EzWSwjyZi9f-ZZhAm1DQhcNoHczHxWJ9TqxyA3VoKEm4KxtHrtM5w14rRncfGMruhe-d6NomXMPNs0-yXnOPrJ9kSa9GcGJl1I0QrZk7PjfyaXjVySlgGM5m/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1H3Bxik5ZLHhhXkXcUUT5EzWSwjyZi9f-ZZhAm1DQhcNoHczHxWJ9TqxyA3VoKEm4KxtHrtM5w14rRncfGMruhe-d6NomXMPNs0-yXnOPrJ9kSa9GcGJl1I0QrZk7PjfyaXjVySlgGM5m/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">Proof that funny gets you laid</span></span><i> </i><span style="font-size: small">I submit for your perusal, Chris Elliot. Seeing as how I am about as attractive as this fellow, only with more hair, I won't listen to any arguments on the contrary, it's all I have to hold on to. How do I know that funny equals sexy?</span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_mr7s8SD1vsVu6-yz5VeKQw-_6CY95PhN40kPOXgcHZ6XFIdutMOEwrrQFgnMIzuZtZud6hoawf-hqYW0IV0sUCI2Wv-tGb7u-b79OW_2gfmsUKimkbV3FvkbpppHdRiNe6F79Fn4iNDe/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_mr7s8SD1vsVu6-yz5VeKQw-_6CY95PhN40kPOXgcHZ6XFIdutMOEwrrQFgnMIzuZtZud6hoawf-hqYW0IV0sUCI2Wv-tGb7u-b79OW_2gfmsUKimkbV3FvkbpppHdRiNe6F79Fn4iNDe/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>No creepy stripping for my daddy thing here! I'm sorry</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I really don't know why I keep going there. </i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Go ahead and scroll back up and look at Abby's father again. I realize that it takes two to make the child, but with a father like that her mom must be an angel. Abby has also proven to me that humor must be sexually transmitted because she is following in her father's footsteps by appearing with a very unfunny group on SNL</span>. <span style="font-size: small">Might I suggest someone start writing "Cabin Girl."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkKrWZ5IpxGEKWxpj9hvh2YwdWJ5P_2T4WeCFKD2_V6xEQGOke_35Cl7PxEltKSgXJdHUAJk45d1thXx6gpKBS-3uIfs9tjJf8sA2JH3KjIParJCfg3EtCgIgmt6hyphenhyphenXFLO0JeaLpgzHdG2/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkKrWZ5IpxGEKWxpj9hvh2YwdWJ5P_2T4WeCFKD2_V6xEQGOke_35Cl7PxEltKSgXJdHUAJk45d1thXx6gpKBS-3uIfs9tjJf8sA2JH3KjIParJCfg3EtCgIgmt6hyphenhyphenXFLO0JeaLpgzHdG2/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>My parents aren't funny.</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large">Donald and Ivanka Trump</span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAx7zhXqgLmE1jCGJJHJBGr0DBJA0D0Cn_djykNa0U9SCa2BvJxstr1Nr9zIAOKAwN0HHH-6TaPWLmtVU9DmysEtldHe8jj6IHtwOpNmXfVzDhmIb7Ia6HEVv1stZ5UHO3fqWY0IqFWg2W/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAx7zhXqgLmE1jCGJJHJBGr0DBJA0D0Cn_djykNa0U9SCa2BvJxstr1Nr9zIAOKAwN0HHH-6TaPWLmtVU9DmysEtldHe8jj6IHtwOpNmXfVzDhmIb7Ia6HEVv1stZ5UHO3fqWY0IqFWg2W/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Hair like that and he still bangs more models than anyone on this list. Proof that it is good to be the Donald, well at least good to be a billionaire. Kids out there take note, having billions of dollars makes it easier to get into the pants of hot women than any other reason. If that statement offended any of you then I ask that you share some of those happy pills with me and we can both kick back and watch the rose colored world go on without us. Now, kids, what's the best way to get your hands on some of those billions? Do like those gold digging bitches and marry into it. Now sometimes that is a disgusting possibility, see above, but other times, well...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrYQOBoExOWTWgxjFXnoBhyphenhyphenFnkhwKf16e2RflIg8flkZsMEuAhyphenhyphenUfJbtWozB6n5i7Mibu-JjUm6QEHMYWt9nEtKEw4uSYAeS6pf6WB1l2Qw4Ooo0X9ym_-bacUT2K0PtGAfnFdrZs7uj0/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrYQOBoExOWTWgxjFXnoBhyphenhyphenFnkhwKf16e2RflIg8flkZsMEuAhyphenhyphenUfJbtWozB6n5i7Mibu-JjUm6QEHMYWt9nEtKEw4uSYAeS6pf6WB1l2Qw4Ooo0X9ym_-bacUT2K0PtGAfnFdrZs7uj0/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Best of both worlds!</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">With Ivanka, you really do get the best of it. Not only is she hot but she stands to inherit all that money that Donald has been hoarding, when he isn't plating his name in gold on one of his buildings. If you are planning on making a move on her, and quite frankly I'm not sure if you can, I haven't done a whole lot of research here, then do it quick before Donald wastes his fortune running for President. Then again, you could be nailing the First Daughter. God, I really hope not.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocJ0gKndpLr3oVrtXrtM_DhhDGV6PKpmiAW9RKfcvXCOY1hrSoDqSDzNxCps4or8-_9_cSD6179zFwie-BmLw1ufeGxuHbXAYZQDqBE0xOyzkdhiVZLeNnbApyEwVnUiK1sWoU9BcjXu9/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocJ0gKndpLr3oVrtXrtM_DhhDGV6PKpmiAW9RKfcvXCOY1hrSoDqSDzNxCps4or8-_9_cSD6179zFwie-BmLw1ufeGxuHbXAYZQDqBE0xOyzkdhiVZLeNnbApyEwVnUiK1sWoU9BcjXu9/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> I think you need to have a OT III to nail the first daughter.</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Rowan and Gemma Atkinson</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb7lM6MPeA0riS_zbzItAfDDYx3RvPT6tzFDg3qCZKjdSIUjjCuiOJJIAx8ZihQLsue_Fj4kDV5KNp8KU2HnDtl-geMKAuNLvRBOAfNfz5f3X8GzGev3z1J2iu5_sN3gtI22htN1SRjLc1/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb7lM6MPeA0riS_zbzItAfDDYx3RvPT6tzFDg3qCZKjdSIUjjCuiOJJIAx8ZihQLsue_Fj4kDV5KNp8KU2HnDtl-geMKAuNLvRBOAfNfz5f3X8GzGev3z1J2iu5_sN3gtI22htN1SRjLc1/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b></span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Proving that it's not only Americans that breed out of their social class, I ask the court to take into evidence Mr. Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson. I've never been to England and from what I can tell on the BBC, Rowan is actually considered quite handsome over on the Isles, by British standards anyway, and maybe Black Adder is just irreverent British slang for penis size. I keep telling myself this because...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGJOpKZpgJJIQ1ICBbHvvKDNFiUsSqdiZi85jxYD_ZPQVBSo8WOoYkEW2dYv0aDoixE1Dcpl5Yr_H2-Th18MGzDYrs-5tFCP6PBMLUB0tBaJY9tG9pb1nb5NQ4r5CqerZb39NEbY9n-b6N/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGJOpKZpgJJIQ1ICBbHvvKDNFiUsSqdiZi85jxYD_ZPQVBSo8WOoYkEW2dYv0aDoixE1Dcpl5Yr_H2-Th18MGzDYrs-5tFCP6PBMLUB0tBaJY9tG9pb1nb5NQ4r5CqerZb39NEbY9n-b6N/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Maybe my mother cheated on him?</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">This is Gemma. My understanding of high school science tells me this shouldn't be possible. It is because of her that I believe Darwin was correct in stating that there will be mutations in the gene pool. I think it is only fair that we start a movement to keep Rowan breeding until his adder falls off.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi39oQ29Q-PQU8xLlI8sCG8hqSLM2pdCtkOt4iT95HkfhuzSn5i1oM-jCPpsuW9mRsiuhzhD0baVKKQoeE-QwKhYJn99BUW4QdV8_FIc6SwW706iDAJmFPdt0Euu1Js2RmlvzxEOM07I0AU/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi39oQ29Q-PQU8xLlI8sCG8hqSLM2pdCtkOt4iT95HkfhuzSn5i1oM-jCPpsuW9mRsiuhzhD0baVKKQoeE-QwKhYJn99BUW4QdV8_FIc6SwW706iDAJmFPdt0Euu1Js2RmlvzxEOM07I0AU/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> I like jam too, we have so much in common!</i></span></span><i> </i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small"> </span></i></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b></span> </div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-90383487212487352342011-04-02T00:03:00.000-06:002011-04-02T00:04:51.663-06:00Let's finish this, #3, 2, and 1 worst remakes<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/04/lets-finish-this-3-2-and-1-worst.html";digg_title = "Let\'s finish this, #3, 2, and 1 worst remakes";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>I'm tired of dicking around with these individual posts and find myself with some spare time so I think it's about time I finish this list I'm writing. Worst of all I keep wanting to write other things but for continuities sake I need to finish whatever the hell it is I'm writing at the time. No more fucking around...<br><br> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><b>#3 Cloverfield</b></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">Cloverfield was J.J. Abrams take on the classic Godzilla films and the the remake that has Godzilla destroying New York instead of Tokyo, all to the tune of the worst version of Kashmir I've ever heard.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWlFRb0K3LWvXy5GQuLax4GO86Q4O2AIKmyFTZ95AYpyf8IRtzHxhtTipWMpOKxRVsUhIGINOQvo3voFmSPZhgk9cEc8lotB-G5ryRpTWXOo8dIKYTvxLI6JKzh2L8eEflKk6J8cA_6ajV/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWlFRb0K3LWvXy5GQuLax4GO86Q4O2AIKmyFTZ95AYpyf8IRtzHxhtTipWMpOKxRVsUhIGINOQvo3voFmSPZhgk9cEc8lotB-G5ryRpTWXOo8dIKYTvxLI6JKzh2L8eEflKk6J8cA_6ajV/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Don't remember Plant saying "Uh, uh, uh" so much</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Cloverfield starts with a bunch of New York hipsters filming their awesome hipster party when the shit hits the fan, figuratively</span><i>, </i><span style="font-size: small">literally, a giant monster comes out of the sea and starts to destroy the city. See why it's just a remake of Godzilla? Hiding the full view of the monster is okay for the first bit of the film but seeing him clearly is a necessity for later in the film, you get that J.J.? Cause it sure as shit doesn't seem like you understand. While we are at it, having a budget of forty thousand dollars makes it okay to use a person running around with a handheld camera, see The Blair Witch Project, but you don't need to try every gimmick in the world if you just tell a decent story, guess I can't blame you to much, Lost was great.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH9N4hkjza3G-m_cqxvOT4-Aw9ZmCesMnfgvyCPdi95MJY3bQSlwQmnShQEzrmTeAz2Bi4WylNstkUV8wFwlgaL72UYOhlOrxVvPGVeC9r1N0QWvbWOH5n3eMaQPrP7RxHk-XYPQNdPW89/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH9N4hkjza3G-m_cqxvOT4-Aw9ZmCesMnfgvyCPdi95MJY3bQSlwQmnShQEzrmTeAz2Bi4WylNstkUV8wFwlgaL72UYOhlOrxVvPGVeC9r1N0QWvbWOH5n3eMaQPrP7RxHk-XYPQNdPW89/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> We liked Cloverfield, and hated Lost. We also like ironic gay sex.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>#2 Clash of the Titans</b></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">Harry Hamlin owned the role of Perseus, I fell into the belief that he was indeed the half son of a God, with his perfectly tanned skin and expertly coiffed hair.</span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxIfQhxFijcK55h2KNBjGzCajJ-oLlx3uj1nQkBv7NwsQCovk7lxU6GYSMnD2xTxhC1bXJTnQsDfBE6Zg2KF14Wh-FZduc8-Pt7evFai3d-zY1JPnlpapofiHJTJrUCNoUI3cHnNs8ahvb/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxIfQhxFijcK55h2KNBjGzCajJ-oLlx3uj1nQkBv7NwsQCovk7lxU6GYSMnD2xTxhC1bXJTnQsDfBE6Zg2KF14Wh-FZduc8-Pt7evFai3d-zY1JPnlpapofiHJTJrUCNoUI3cHnNs8ahvb/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><b> </b></span><i> Hey guys check this out... Shit. Sorry.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">What made the original so great was the fact that it wasn't. Piss poor special effects, hackneyed writing, and hilarious battle sequences are what makes this a classic, and as George Lucas has proven time and time again, classic movies are better without forcing in new technologies and CGI. In this case it was the invention of 3D. Keep in mind that this film was not shot in 3D, but that didn't stop the filmmakers from trying to milk a little more money out of the audience by forcing it in. I've never been to 3D movie, and have no real urge to. However if I did I would go to one like Avatar, which wasn't that good of a movie to begin with, that was actually shot in the format instead of using a bunch of cheap tricks like throwing shit at the camera. This sort of movie insults humanity at it's core and needs to be done away with.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwDCWW4uZR9ywaTPGB5sEC-ToYNIsqjiG_7ViMyThJDnvqO1ROet1WubOjgP0Tm00_6fmF8_rc2oESLBHPgvrN8f5q_xsENlUhrH84oUJ0-tGI-rz708LQl40OB7VOoNK2venT7MDaQ_fL/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwDCWW4uZR9ywaTPGB5sEC-ToYNIsqjiG_7ViMyThJDnvqO1ROet1WubOjgP0Tm00_6fmF8_rc2oESLBHPgvrN8f5q_xsENlUhrH84oUJ0-tGI-rz708LQl40OB7VOoNK2venT7MDaQ_fL/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> I've got a new idea for a special edition! What if everything were to pop out at you?!?!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><b><span style="font-size: large">#1 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory</span></b><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: small">Tim Burton has been known lately for remaking classic movies and turning them into pure, unadulterated, shit.</span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimD7IY02hvdpMNPKGyMzTqLy9E5JKiD4raEvB_S7_U0VHmeGpXy08yZNId-BKwWvwBXD0XovEMwZqN87EKAdgwM_5810zSB_0GmE7-N7Y2R1SrIKgxYkXgqsxZPLNj-rH4TbOqNv5dmgY/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimD7IY02hvdpMNPKGyMzTqLy9E5JKiD4raEvB_S7_U0VHmeGpXy08yZNId-BKwWvwBXD0XovEMwZqN87EKAdgwM_5810zSB_0GmE7-N7Y2R1SrIKgxYkXgqsxZPLNj-rH4TbOqNv5dmgY/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>He also stole Fizzy Lifting Drinks!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Casting Gene Wilder in the role he was born to play was a divine choice, recasting his role with Johnny Depp, who I consider a good actor, was blasphemous. Tim Burton has gone past the point of creativity and fallen into his ideal of "look at me I'm a tortured starving artist," the problem with that, is that he is no longer tortured, nor starving, and I guess he can still be considered an artist </span></span>in so much as a comic book tracer is also an artist.</div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxDIfA_c4O8uryyRcD45mQB-8CJVtTnRLSzXeoXYSgM_nG4eggcDGhQqoSKSd-9S7vPBq66ITQ93yqSfTCK7gO5d-Zuvj4cPwnq6KOmt4zgJJTWk_iU2Ubhz0mh80PWT2jZoB7BAnDp9qw/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxDIfA_c4O8uryyRcD45mQB-8CJVtTnRLSzXeoXYSgM_nG4eggcDGhQqoSKSd-9S7vPBq66ITQ93yqSfTCK7gO5d-Zuvj4cPwnq6KOmt4zgJJTWk_iU2Ubhz0mh80PWT2jZoB7BAnDp9qw/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>"I'll trace a chalk line around your dead fucking body, you fuck!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">The fucked up psychedelic trip through a eccentric man's candy factory, wondering what Willy Wonka's manic side does at night with the Oompa Loompa's, freaking out on a ten year old about Fizzy Lifting Drinks, and the heart shown when Charlie passes the test and takes his first ride in the glass elevator, could never be equaled</span>, <span style="font-size: small">and this just goes to show, it would take the biggest douche in the Universe to try.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8n92pVtN45TegYev2U-4NGXSzHvVJ2pMWx72c2ypaXzlHUhecdmbVCPgt8o8qb78zuIb7Wo1Z6ulCW_lyBJfCUJxK50PZky5xbLeKMOaSMc2S_aPusOrqclMU484jUsZAmNZgzmOAFlAh/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8n92pVtN45TegYev2U-4NGXSzHvVJ2pMWx72c2ypaXzlHUhecdmbVCPgt8o8qb78zuIb7Wo1Z6ulCW_lyBJfCUJxK50PZky5xbLeKMOaSMc2S_aPusOrqclMU484jUsZAmNZgzmOAFlAh/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>I AM an ARTIST!</i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><b>Editor's Note: Not any more you're not, you douche.</b></i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-68597320645234749602011-04-01T04:15:00.000-06:002011-04-01T04:17:05.983-06:00#4 worst remake ever<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/04/4-worst-remake-ever.html";digg_title = "#4 worst remake ever";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><iframe style="width: 131px; padding-right: 10px; height: 245px; padding-top: 5px" marginheight="0" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=zs0a5-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00005JKFR&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" align="left"></iframe>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>Work is over again for the next week so I finally find time to return to my posts, the World has waited with baited breath. Well maybe not that anxiously, but I assure you, someone, me, has been really pissed that there has not been an update for a few days. If I knew were this Zodiac lived I would drive over there and threaten him with some sort of personal violence, and, failing that, I might just send him a strongly worded email to myfakeemail1969@Gmail.com, that would show him. Incidentally that is a good way to get a hold of me with any ideas or the like that you might have. If you haven't stopped reading after that ham fisted attempt to get some sort of feedback from you people, then good 'cause today we'll continue with our look into shitty movie remakes. If you haven't guessed based off of the ad on the side then today we take a look at #4...<br><br> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><b>The Day the Earth Stood Still</b></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">What we have here is one of the first science fiction films that served as a warning to the future. Having not just ten years earlier dropping atomic weapons on Japan this served as a cautionary tale about mankind's destructive nature. Klattu, an alien, comes to Earth with his giant robot companion, Gort, representing a federation of other alien planets who have been watching our planet and not liking the results of our interactions with each other.</span><b> </b></span>What do we do to strange men who wish to spread a message of peace and tolerance? We fucking shoot them, that's what.</div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDzopdt7K9BV06kEzs1t_Hf6BgJDjcxWwdn1y-2TIrMhnj_QrFFnDfP4JdkensToXDdRGGr1FQtEdk_1-ud1oHyWtb09mHrq9b97azaxxrJdRanMZsvs2SSsS2QrkTMALRhaRWI8RtU_KT/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDzopdt7K9BV06kEzs1t_Hf6BgJDjcxWwdn1y-2TIrMhnj_QrFFnDfP4JdkensToXDdRGGr1FQtEdk_1-ud1oHyWtb09mHrq9b97azaxxrJdRanMZsvs2SSsS2QrkTMALRhaRWI8RtU_KT/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>He's got a flower! Kill him!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Now shooting an advanced species who has mastered intergalactic travel is usually considered a bad idea, luckily for everyone in this imaginary Earth, Klaatu was only wounded and stopped Gort from laser beaming the shit out of all of us. After spending some time boarding with humans, and stopping all mechanical and electrical machines on Earth for one hour to prove his powers, hence the title, Klaatu gets tracked down by the government and shot again. </span><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72rtl2XAWER_NIdIOvjK-8ZfCYxluON1QZmkT5yAp8Mrkfs6N2BlhLQWH5KcUUD6aE68K-2z-oExKrvqhOollaZVMFV9ZDJ54DJxJ4cj3mnl4L2af5vQCsUlHNLLNS5YFx06JogPyGma_/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72rtl2XAWER_NIdIOvjK-8ZfCYxluON1QZmkT5yAp8Mrkfs6N2BlhLQWH5KcUUD6aE68K-2z-oExKrvqhOollaZVMFV9ZDJ54DJxJ4cj3mnl4L2af5vQCsUlHNLLNS5YFx06JogPyGma_/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>It worked so well the first time you knucklehead!</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: small">Staving off death for a few moments he tells the World that if they continue their aggression towards space then Gort was going to destroy</span> the Earth. Pretty scary look at ourselves in the mirror, and from one of those cheap sci-fi films too. How could we possibly fuck this up? Let's make it about environmental issues instead of nuclear, and let's have it star Keanu Reeves.</div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS5QlXB4QIlXVTclwE34NAulfn7jx65ay5WHCp5alxx7GF-tA856QVkSSibqe6wIjq8fSdMHFIs2XZQTYtbo-qf4Zev-57QAS2DpvA62Gd-kp_NLX80LjRgW3wJjgVbhiVhRmIz2j8XZ5f/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS5QlXB4QIlXVTclwE34NAulfn7jx65ay5WHCp5alxx7GF-tA856QVkSSibqe6wIjq8fSdMHFIs2XZQTYtbo-qf4Zev-57QAS2DpvA62Gd-kp_NLX80LjRgW3wJjgVbhiVhRmIz2j8XZ5f/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>As Klaatu, not the more obvious choice of Gort.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Showing no human emotions and offering no chance for redemption Keanu is merely there to save animals from the destruction</span>, <span style="font-size: small">cause we all know that animals don't do anything to destroy the environment. It takes the the Fresh Prince's kid and the hot chick from A Beautiful Mind</span></span> to convince him that the world is worth saving.</div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBPTPbbVcz3_oE56T1aXouQ9PhoxeywUhAJFBPpYVTs-_8v9R6OmWbal3f7F67bcQSAzMbImAM-dcbeP_uImrYADDpBJh03WbPiSeP3Ym-KckK7AgeZ3FPHUJPaFWhyphenhyphenywqCNa9zDEU2nQ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBPTPbbVcz3_oE56T1aXouQ9PhoxeywUhAJFBPpYVTs-_8v9R6OmWbal3f7F67bcQSAzMbImAM-dcbeP_uImrYADDpBJh03WbPiSeP3Ym-KckK7AgeZ3FPHUJPaFWhyphenhyphenywqCNa9zDEU2nQ/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>A little preventive genocide isn't always a bad thing.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Having no emotional tie to anything in this movie makes it painful to watch, and I actually found myself rooting for the alien nanobots, yes, there were nanobots. The heart of the original is the idea that we are capable of redeeming our murderous ways, even after we straight up murder the harbinger of the message. The story is all about second chances, not just an excuse to force some bullshit hot button with a bunch of CGI and destruction.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP_iF2woTHIh4MSvP44jqd50ucgJuYYIY_Mkif_NifJQONIG-EtALFq7uG34wRDEUPtT0RgdQ0Z0Y8VlUe5_VQDlCCLXhyY8vg08UX4-sPHyjDN_Zt0mnMHuW6ybshkRpT4W3Nr8W9avEg/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP_iF2woTHIh4MSvP44jqd50ucgJuYYIY_Mkif_NifJQONIG-EtALFq7uG34wRDEUPtT0RgdQ0Z0Y8VlUe5_VQDlCCLXhyY8vg08UX4-sPHyjDN_Zt0mnMHuW6ybshkRpT4W3Nr8W9avEg/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Movie histories smuggest monster</i></span></span><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-24115544220052219622011-03-27T04:36:00.000-06:002011-03-27T04:37:43.468-06:005 Worst Remakes of Classic Films<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/03/5-worst-remakes-of-classic-films.html";digg_title = "5 Worst Remakes of Classic Films";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=zs0a5-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000WC3A0I&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />What makes a movie great? Is it the ability to be watched over and over again? Is it the memorable performances? Is it the fact that Hollywood has run out of good ideas so they make a crappy reproduction that just proves how good the original was? I like to think so. I won't take the opportunity to point out the greatest crime against humanity, the remake of the Stanley Kubrick classic, Lolita. Fuck you Adrian Lyne, but that is neither here nor there. There have been many other cinematic crimes, some egregious errors in judgment, such as... <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>#5 I am Legend</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">What started as a book in 1954 by Richard Matheson resulted in three films being made from the subject material. The first starred Vincent Price as <i>The Last Man on Earth. </i>After a plague strikes the Earth, turning most people into vampiric creatures, Dr. Morgan (Price) spends his days hunting the vampires, and his nights, locked in his home. Stabbing the vampires with a wooden stake and burning their corpses is how this doctor deal with these affronts to God.</span><b> </b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH4OSrvzP4sdJjM2SrI2AA2D8t0xRMNMwvGkx89JFD2TSNlS6p7fuxSYTC9fkMg6vTHXdIfcAo1vtc1eSxhJGOWLvoTKjn5m1dGGfYAA8qIcvuBaTmimV35H9hJQlQ0j_tLa6xsm_mlJoS/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH4OSrvzP4sdJjM2SrI2AA2D8t0xRMNMwvGkx89JFD2TSNlS6p7fuxSYTC9fkMg6vTHXdIfcAo1vtc1eSxhJGOWLvoTKjn5m1dGGfYAA8qIcvuBaTmimV35H9hJQlQ0j_tLa6xsm_mlJoS/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Sadly, not 100% successful </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Morgan, having been bit by a Vampire Bat years earlier, thinks that granted him an immunity to the virus and is convinced that he is the last uninfected person on Earth. Enter Ruth. Ruth is another survivor, in a way, she is infected but through use of a vaccine, she, and others like her, are able to hold the disease at bay. She explains that she has been sent by other "survivors" to spy on Morgan. Using his blood to give Ruth a transfusion, he realizes that he is in fact the cure, and that he can cure all of her fellow vampires. Revelations like this in horror movies never come without consequences. The Vampires attack, forcing him to flee his stronghold, as they exchange gunfire Morgan is hit and wounded. Retreating into a church, he gets impaled on the altar with a spear, and screams that the vampires are "freaks" and that he is truly, the last man on Earth. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LSOcFeLrNU3bnCjjmaUxu_Xo4JJ-qDTPtHUHCQw8NF_619qBR9He_N9uMhJVD9TsyZ7h38A0rdZt3UvNvCmlCDno1digm_F3hxDBfOU6HWsezqyAn008Hv9iiR2HguOt-58m_rIEkgdg/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LSOcFeLrNU3bnCjjmaUxu_Xo4JJ-qDTPtHUHCQw8NF_619qBR9He_N9uMhJVD9TsyZ7h38A0rdZt3UvNvCmlCDno1digm_F3hxDBfOU6HWsezqyAn008Hv9iiR2HguOt-58m_rIEkgdg/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i> And what a man!</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Like I said this was the first of the three. The Omega Man came seven years later and starred Charlton Heston as the last man, fighting mutants, instead of vampires. Some change but overall still the same basic story. This decent remake couldn't stand, so Hollywood did something about it in 2007. Let's get the Fresh Prince! The ending of the film has a standoff between the infected and Smith, after realizing that they still show signs of humanity he returns an infected woman that he captured and the vampires leave him, leaving him to continue being the monster of the "new humanity". His is no longer the norm, or the basis for deciding what is human, he is the legend. At least that's how it was initially filmed, but a test audience didn't care to much for that ending.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkR26sRFv3YCDUm1WRifWuhq0vwkHbsU9l8tneEFLW4O6miR-0gnBj81PiYLJgupkYj5noNhHWyy-VjyrSQR350zC0B_M9Er0s5D2mq7HPzHasRrGwzTygW9rQW9aVrzIuhkVk0cnCLDTL/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkR26sRFv3YCDUm1WRifWuhq0vwkHbsU9l8tneEFLW4O6miR-0gnBj81PiYLJgupkYj5noNhHWyy-VjyrSQR350zC0B_M9Er0s5D2mq7HPzHasRrGwzTygW9rQW9aVrzIuhkVk0cnCLDTL/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>We no like the thinky! Blow some shit up instead!</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Instead we end up having a guns drawn stand off between Smith and the Vampires, where he sacrifices himself so that two other uninfected people with him, can escape. Why he couldn't escape with them and still blow up the house and vampires alike is unknown to me. One of those cliched sacrifices to the movie gods that seems to happen more than we'd like to think. That aside, let's look back at the start of this paragraph and see if you can notice anything else wrong with what I've said. If you've noticed my mention of the two other uninfected people then congratulations, you get a thumbs up.</span><i> </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-yLdnmNGrIZ_yDUUGsK88poABQ4KlnqK91P_O-T5g_6fswxXH0YjfmsIxS4GGp-1ZjsUAnZIVH-PdiDQY1x9X_PdqKCrd55RIIUvHsoq9jPPNBxqyEVisPrXtGJfGb1BwRQfecrOWvIfn/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-yLdnmNGrIZ_yDUUGsK88poABQ4KlnqK91P_O-T5g_6fswxXH0YjfmsIxS4GGp-1ZjsUAnZIVH-PdiDQY1x9X_PdqKCrd55RIIUvHsoq9jPPNBxqyEVisPrXtGJfGb1BwRQfecrOWvIfn/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Soak it up cause this will be the only time women like this will give you their approval.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">The problem with having a "Last Man on Earth" type of movie is that you must be the last man on earth! The book and the first two movies held the notion that there were no other people left uninfected, that is the whole point of the story. It doesn't work if there are still ten percent, which is what the movie tells us, of the world's population left. Nearly 700 million people survive the outbreak, just to show you a comparison, the total current population of Canada, the US, and Mexico, is around 440 million. Granted the roughly 6.3 billion infected makes them a minority, it is equivalent to the African American population in the United States.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFlwvgtkUswv8yDCtvocbsC21AOtLN_cxhBeDnFDMPviCap5KgsHNlYVzVkwlhsZ8f-cOhvjn4c6lBL-E0de11-Vxly9B_Vr9DyswXZCevRd354FZmdwwvhFpIhRtElRN5WJUikmcOsQvR/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFlwvgtkUswv8yDCtvocbsC21AOtLN_cxhBeDnFDMPviCap5KgsHNlYVzVkwlhsZ8f-cOhvjn4c6lBL-E0de11-Vxly9B_Vr9DyswXZCevRd354FZmdwwvhFpIhRtElRN5WJUikmcOsQvR/s1600/a.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Always part of a minority.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Stay tuned dear readers for part two of my introspective into these abominations that pass themselves off as legitimate cinema and take a moment to click on my link over to America's Hobbies where you can read more of my reviews and witticisms. While there, take the time to watch a few videos about different peoples passions that have nothing to do with movies.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-37831002511238997512011-03-23T21:40:00.000-06:002011-03-23T21:42:29.212-06:00Spoiler Alert! The Four Greatest Twist Endings in Film History<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/03/spoiler-alert-four-greatest-twist.html";digg_title = "Spoiler Alert! The Four Greatest Twist Endings in Film History";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div><iframe style="width: 131px; padding-right: 10px; height: 245px; padding-top: 5px" marginheight="0" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=zs0a5-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000UJ48T0&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" align="left"></iframe>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br><br>Disregard the buy it on Amazon link I have to the left of here, it doesn't pertain to the subject at hand, I just wanted everyone to have another chance at purchasing this fine piece of cinematic history. We are here to look at the greatest twist endings in film history, and, not so surprisingly, we only have one made by M. Night Shyamalan. A good twist to the end of your film is one of the hardest things to do, just ask the director of Signs, but when pulled off correctly, can make it shine with the repeat viewing sparkle that all movie studios love to see. I've decided that it would be in our best interests as movieophiles to take a look at four noteworthy times that "twist" has graced us. I really hope this goes without saying but the following post does contain SPOILER ALERTS.<br><br> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Psycho (1960)</b></span></div><br>The movie starts a woman, Marion, fleeing from her employer after stealing a sizable amount of cash that was intended to be the down payment on a house, a house purchased by a rich, drunk, Texan stereotype who is purchasing it as a wedding gift for his daughter, another cliche.<br><br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6b0CHwNaKeRd5DJaest9TxwrCtoMzEPijeaHKDV1KNdn2ycQYtxtuKXjgfcYFf7Kft2LZHvjkYHJI75jUjLuqR8UYnKaiP8wTVUiRRmJhVAxjX9oRwI3kwg-9jCcfKC9Y4-ukOe1ttPsO/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6b0CHwNaKeRd5DJaest9TxwrCtoMzEPijeaHKDV1KNdn2ycQYtxtuKXjgfcYFf7Kft2LZHvjkYHJI75jUjLuqR8UYnKaiP8wTVUiRRmJhVAxjX9oRwI3kwg-9jCcfKC9Y4-ukOe1ttPsO/s320/a.jpg" width="320" height="226"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Cliched because he's a Rock Star, no racist comments please</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><span style="font-size: small"></span></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">She pulls over into a motel, the Bates Motel, where she meets Norman. A brutal stabbing in the shower later, we have a private detective and Marion's sister stumble upon the motel. After checking with the nervous Norman they grow suspicious and decide to go talk to his mother, and that leads us to... SPOILER ALERT... They remade this movie almost shot for shot in 1998. Instead of the charming and boyish Anthony Perkins, we have an in between shitty comedies Vince Vaughn. Part of the twist in the original is that superstar Janet Leigh gets murdered in the first forty minutes, I couldn't wait to see Anne Heche get hacked apart and dumped into a bog.</span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2gh2wOG9RduPsOPRYtrXWoK3UqqjROfye2Dnch_ozGIoje5AZL9F1pPs8zFD-G_sNm_beN8WfYsEIpI2ocaK9HCFBypxhhAZ8wAUIiAZ_0tiJt8iSDOogEpvXWRENDduPo_Inpdogd4K7/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2gh2wOG9RduPsOPRYtrXWoK3UqqjROfye2Dnch_ozGIoje5AZL9F1pPs8zFD-G_sNm_beN8WfYsEIpI2ocaK9HCFBypxhhAZ8wAUIiAZ_0tiJt8iSDOogEpvXWRENDduPo_Inpdogd4K7/s1600/aa.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <i><span style="font-size: x-small">Oh the Horror!</span></i></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>The Usual Suspects (1995)</b></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">A star studded cast, and Stephen Baldwin, star in this crime thriller where five criminals are rounded up by the most nefarious criminal around, Keyser Soze, to pull off a theft of $100 million dollars cash, and if that wasn't enough, $100 million dollars worth of cocaine. The story is told in flashbacks to the police by Verbal Kint, the lone survivor of the heist.</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY43AsUh1JhM9eHXoEJ5Jaue1fvIkfcc2OP9DH41DOlOzJMog33JmxKGWDf15UZr8bK47sgdgxH-5bJnDULrElWlWAJjsrWdlzJfSJzR2ZNcYHlrhAwug545PuC985FfgnmqXFrxNQyUoo/s1600/aaa.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY43AsUh1JhM9eHXoEJ5Jaue1fvIkfcc2OP9DH41DOlOzJMog33JmxKGWDf15UZr8bK47sgdgxH-5bJnDULrElWlWAJjsrWdlzJfSJzR2ZNcYHlrhAwug545PuC985FfgnmqXFrxNQyUoo/s1600/aaa.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><b> </b></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">We see how each one of these men came to wrong Soze and the planning of the crime. After the story is told and Kint is released on bail, the guy who voices Fat Tony on the Simpsons figures out the lies that he has just been told, and tries to catch Verbal before he disappears forever... SPOILER ALERT... They blew it up, damn them, damn them all to Hell! Heston's journey into the forbidden zone causes the realization that it was Earth all along. The remnants of the Statue of Liberty stare him in the face as he beats his defeated fists against the wet sand. Holy shit right?</span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbTGoVmJmSlA9UBqTObf0s7qmLZLPwfP5uoTjFXEtch5QcNro4lVVgmP8Al3S8-B9LcEIx0SWKa1_UxsrLaCM-5alJ8vptbxZ9CKcmF1Qf2wbCkWUUJQ-nIhVeo1ReD9gtnp6yJtY4d8UJ/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbTGoVmJmSlA9UBqTObf0s7qmLZLPwfP5uoTjFXEtch5QcNro4lVVgmP8Al3S8-B9LcEIx0SWKa1_UxsrLaCM-5alJ8vptbxZ9CKcmF1Qf2wbCkWUUJQ-nIhVeo1ReD9gtnp6yJtY4d8UJ/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><b></b><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>You damn dirty Apes!!!</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>The Sixth Sense (1999)</b></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">Finally we get to the M. Night film. The sixth sense is about a old looking Bruce Willis who plays a child psychologist who gets shot by Marky Mark's brother. After some time passes he meets up with a kid who says he can see ghosts. The ghosts want him to help them get closure, and because a child has never been known to lie, Die Hard goes out of his way to help kid, help the ghosts, help themselves, in getting over their hangups that are preventing them from crossing over. </span><b> </b></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivytBFgpiCWm7s34-qYz3Qn3qErtuzFRol2bYrtZSSm7DC0xM9PQh-j-NssY_PpO9owRdzq5jqUo2Y6PyhzYwR3Vl49ssUw5oqTdrBZ-zJRIUN0DV7ALwGQO22SaznV4-baJIXEomp6PH6/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivytBFgpiCWm7s34-qYz3Qn3qErtuzFRol2bYrtZSSm7DC0xM9PQh-j-NssY_PpO9owRdzq5jqUo2Y6PyhzYwR3Vl49ssUw5oqTdrBZ-zJRIUN0DV7ALwGQO22SaznV4-baJIXEomp6PH6/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i>This guys brother, you remember him.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Bruce is so caught up in helping the kid that no one will acknowledge him, not his wife, not the kid's mom, nobody. After successfully helping some ghosts deal with being dead, we have, surprise, surprise... SPOILER ALERT...</span><i> </i></span>nothing but a string of shitty twist ending movies, each one more ridiculous than the last. Shaymalan blew his creative load with his first offering and instead of trying some other type of genre, he keeps trying to recapture that "clever" tag in movies such as Unbreakable, Signs, and The Village. After four failed attempts, could be more, honestly I stopped watching them, he finally branches out to remake a live action remake of a Nickelodeon cartoon. </div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3bhTdm91Xg72TSo2XqV59k5w5plYZutBFiSxeZ9L2ZYlTgpMQTMJ0NrHmr1idE8FHGS0r8ityNPHULMpQqak6pa_HKXzyvGsR-AfUm-7oXDf9FNnSpIBb8YFCQ7t4ibwWqmWpgXakMyJp/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3bhTdm91Xg72TSo2XqV59k5w5plYZutBFiSxeZ9L2ZYlTgpMQTMJ0NrHmr1idE8FHGS0r8ityNPHULMpQqak6pa_HKXzyvGsR-AfUm-7oXDf9FNnSpIBb8YFCQ7t4ibwWqmWpgXakMyJp/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>You were the real devil in that elevator.</i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b>Fight Club (1999)</b></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b> </b></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small">David Fincher's mind fuck about making soap stars Edward Norton and Brad Pitt as Edward Norton. Not in some sort of everybody's Bob Dylan I'm Not There bullshit, but as in they are both parts of Norton's split psyche. Whenever we see Brad Pitt doing anything, the people beyond the fourth wall are seeing Norton do it. It takes the entire movie and a gunshot to the face for him to realize that this Tyler Durden he is watching and fighting with, is actually himself.</span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> </span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl2F9RQIBjiYdn-h3UVwVwVa44lVBvaMQn0Fs22-LPsndqFlQykMzYdKtUjJ4l52CEW6zAFYCUp57m8tzl2Vbn2kZ23Ya__dsayKHQMV9mO6Gpv7Ed1S2ICZXOhpotC11eWwA4OT_pS6y-/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl2F9RQIBjiYdn-h3UVwVwVa44lVBvaMQn0Fs22-LPsndqFlQykMzYdKtUjJ4l52CEW6zAFYCUp57m8tzl2Vbn2kZ23Ya__dsayKHQMV9mO6Gpv7Ed1S2ICZXOhpotC11eWwA4OT_pS6y-/s1600/a.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"> <span style="font-size: x-small"><i>Pictured: Neither Bob Dylan or Edward Norton</i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><i> </i></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">Norton's character suffers from, among other things, insomnia, and because he can't sleep he starts to attend meetings for people suffering from various illnesses. The only thing that gives him the ability to sleep is receiving pity from people who are worse off than he is, which leads us to... SPOILER ALERT... Meatloaf has man tits. One of the groups he attends is for men who have testicular cancer, and because they don't produce enough testosterone naturally, they are forced to take testosterone shots, which causes their body to produce more estrogen, ie bada boom, Meatloaf with bitch tits.</span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span></span></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj85TMgaMROvF6ytiN-9tojWAIEU3K5JY2K78e6gkGl8k1PzOxh_jQgS834VJbTY-oUt-PafpL-BNpNt3KM7e5sjnJrTdTWZxrFf42UN15KurrkyLRLtRP_Q4mB6lrWBg6q1UKkdOnbNNm_/s1600/lower-back-facebook5.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj85TMgaMROvF6ytiN-9tojWAIEU3K5JY2K78e6gkGl8k1PzOxh_jQgS834VJbTY-oUt-PafpL-BNpNt3KM7e5sjnJrTdTWZxrFf42UN15KurrkyLRLtRP_Q4mB6lrWBg6q1UKkdOnbNNm_/s320/lower-back-facebook5.jpg" width="320" height="294"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> </span><i> Like these only not as hot</i></span></span><b> </b></span><i><br></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: large"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: large"><b></b></span><i> </i></span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small"> </span></i></span><i><br></i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-59072033355432907682011-03-22T03:10:00.000-06:002011-03-22T03:11:37.977-06:00The 41 year old shitty parody film<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/03/41-year-old-shitty-parody-film.html";digg_title = "The 41 year old shitty parody film";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><iframe style="width: 131px; padding-right: 10px; height: 245px; padding-top: 5px" marginheight="0" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=zs0a5-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B003HRJL7Q&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" align="left"></iframe>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br>Let us talk about parody movies for a few minutes. Stating first that I have nothing against them in theory, some are actually good, Airplane, Hot Shots, anything by Mel Brooks, even the first couple of Scary Movie films. The sign of a good parody film is that it takes one, or two, main films that it draws it's inspiration from and then peppers in a few jokes that reference other films. Spaceballs was a star wars rip off, one of the most famous scenes has an alien popping out of a mans chest, get the reference? That is how it is supposed to be done. Which leads me to...<br><br>The 41 Year Old Virgin That Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It.<br>Just the title alone is horrible. It is obviously a take up on The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Superbad. Three to many films to focus your parody on. Clever, I'll admit, how they strung them all together, the most clever thing the writers did on this movie, but, just like the title, they crammed way to much shit into this piece of shit. Shit stuffed shit, would have been a great tagline, if I may be so crass.<br><br> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkv4pwCCaJVFE7EnLW-LTILfoGcr-S5Ura-4Qrc0zHke1SehZHsuH5ZEhAvrlMiRTxeX8IzNcrPkXOMrpCuXHhwN2mvlaje0AUeasmY_cxJ8nfL8wkJ0LKDECFJMXBB1FTXELnshMNNE4z/s1600/Stuffed+Fish+Recipes.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkv4pwCCaJVFE7EnLW-LTILfoGcr-S5Ura-4Qrc0zHke1SehZHsuH5ZEhAvrlMiRTxeX8IzNcrPkXOMrpCuXHhwN2mvlaje0AUeasmY_cxJ8nfL8wkJ0LKDECFJMXBB1FTXELnshMNNE4z/s1600/Stuffed+Fish+Recipes.jpg"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"> <span style="font-size: xx-small"><i><span style="font-size: x-small">Kind of like this, you know, without being to gross</span></i></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: xx-small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">The reason good parody films only focus on one main story line is the same reason that other films only have one story, because otherwise it makes no sense. We have the main story of 40 year old virgin crossed with Superbad which, for some reason leads the characters to Hawaii like in Sarah Marshall with a non sexual encounter that leads to a pregnancy like in the bible. To get all of these pop references into a film that has the running time of 90 minutes there has to be either, the greatest screenwriters ever, or a lot of ham fisted, nonsensical, forced plot twists. Guess which one we have here. I'll agree that some of the best parts of the movie Superbad involved McLovin and his police escort, which appear here without any of the charm of the original, and then dead ends without any explanation.</span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXElxcHaBlt1ryqJ9Jk_M3m3erryBY4S7k1pGfI9PT8EcIP4MRmJk05MdBL_fOeJ-s5arFOcXBZee4CWK3XsmH_lbqmqAXgnFwdQ8vGEXUfZSxsDMviZmjhXOebQIQZsuG94UOvQnwkokT/s1600/mclovin3.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXElxcHaBlt1ryqJ9Jk_M3m3erryBY4S7k1pGfI9PT8EcIP4MRmJk05MdBL_fOeJ-s5arFOcXBZee4CWK3XsmH_lbqmqAXgnFwdQ8vGEXUfZSxsDMviZmjhXOebQIQZsuG94UOvQnwkokT/s320/mclovin3.jpg" width="209" height="320"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: xx-small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"> <i><span style="font-size: x-small">Charm?</span></i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: xx-small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">This film is a train wrecking into a chicken truck outside a Scientology center during an Alien invasion while everyone is suffering from rickets. As if it wasn't cluttered enough, they also apply random cut a-ways, trying to cram in other peoples funny ideas hoping that some of the funny "shit", how many times can I write shit and not have someone tell me to buy a thesaurus, will stick, but as we've established, shit can only be stuffed, it doesn't stick.</span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small"> </span></i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: center; clear: both" class="separator"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn81I7gbH5ESLDxvqavwT9Enyp78Sc95gSJKUbfvk89syHSkiGMQb18xH4Qf0yfFMrLOb6I_YvGwwEApLgXsviuYAE_lGy6lKvPdYz6OtZ-zPBDINkStny1qYRVl8duFe-eCF-1Jeal15N/s1600/censored.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn81I7gbH5ESLDxvqavwT9Enyp78Sc95gSJKUbfvk89syHSkiGMQb18xH4Qf0yfFMrLOb6I_YvGwwEApLgXsviuYAE_lGy6lKvPdYz6OtZ-zPBDINkStny1qYRVl8duFe-eCF-1Jeal15N/s320/censored.jpg" width="320" height="256"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: xx-small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><i><span style="font-size: x-small"> Got to keep it safe for work</span></i></span></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: left"> </div> <div style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: xx-small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">It would be a bigger waste of time to watch this movie that it would to watch the eight hours of the films it tries to rip off</span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small">. </span></i><span style="font-size: x-small"><span style="font-size: small">I should know, and my time is worthless. Damn you AB for suggesting this movie, damn you to Hell. I, however, am hoping to receive another step in my golden staircase to Heaven for taking the time to warn the world against this abomination.</span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small"> </span></i></span></span><i><span style="font-size: x-small"> </span></i></span></div> Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-90911249405666703212011-03-21T21:19:00.000-06:002011-03-21T21:20:33.221-06:00Jack or Robin Williams isn't funny<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/03/jack-or-robin-williams-isnt-funny.html";digg_title = "Jack or Robin Williams isn\'t funny";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=zs0a5-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B00008L3U1&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />Szia to all my Hungarian readers out there, and a mighty Fuck You to all you my American readers, talking to you Pat and Cameron. All I ask for is a little feedback, and I can't even get that from you. I'll keep at it though, because I don't know anyone in real life who'll listen to all my bullshit. Here we go.<br /><br />Jack (1996)<br />I've already kind of gotten into what I think about this movie in my post about Francis Ford Coppola, go ahead and take a minute to look it up, I'll wait. Damn it got lonely here all of a sudden, I did ask them to leave but I didn't think it would take this long. Oh, you're back then? Good. Let's continue. I liked Robin Williams in One Hour Photo, and really liked him in What Dreams May Come, both serious movies, thought he was wonderful in Good Will Hunting, as for every comedy I've watched him in, he was shit. The exception that proves the rule is of course, Death to Smoochy, funny as hell. Jack is a disaster on so many levels, it has the Williams playing the retarded man child who ages, physically, never mentally, eight times faster than normal. We follow him going to school and using his humor on the only type of people to find it funny, third graders. Diane Lane plays Jack's mother and looks more matronly than a hot movie mom should look. I know she is supposed to be a suburban housewife and that sometimes they dress kind of frumpy but I think we can all agree that if you cast Diane Lane, you're not doing it for acting ability. In what should be a heart warming ending we see the greatly aged Jack graduating from High School, thankfully to old to do all that stream of consciousness funny voice bullshit that seems to be the only driving factor in Robin Williams' career. I can do an old British woman's voice, and if I talk real fast no one will realize that there is no substance in what I'm saying. Instead of the emotional "good for you" the film makers were expecting I couldn't help but be horrified by the terrible aging makeup the "star" wore. It's not worth watching this movie, and if you do it will only make you feel sad and lonely, kind of like what I feel like all the time. Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1176468711231382190.post-15339260422652535602011-03-21T03:50:00.000-06:002011-03-21T03:51:41.325-06:00Twilight; New Moon<div class="wlWriterHeaderFooter" style="float:right; margin:0px; padding:0px 0px 4px 8px;"><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = "http://zodiacsword.blogspot.com/2011/03/twilight-new-moon.html";digg_title = "Twilight; New Moon";digg_bgcolor = "#141414";digg_skin = "normal";</script><script src="http://digg.com/tools/diggthis.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">digg_url = undefined;digg_title = undefined;digg_bgcolor = undefined;digg_skin = undefined;</script></div><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=zs0a5-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001OQCV56&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>This is the Zodiac speaking...<br />I wrote this post for another site I work on, no, work requires getting paid, I contribute to, Americashobbies.com. Because of the way the site is set up at the moment, no one, other than members, can read my post, so I thought it would be a good idea to copy and paste my thoughts over here, where everyone can, but won't, read it. I can't stress enough how much I want everyone to comment on this. I need validation, even if it is negative, which it probably will be. Enjoy.<br /><br />Twilight; New Moon (2009)<br />First things first, I need to tell you why I went to see this movie, in theaters no doubt, when I have such an aversion to them. My brother and his wife came down from Kansas and we all decided to go to the movies. Two of my brothers decided to go watch 2012, a horrible apocalyptic look at the end of the world, according to the Mayans, in which the over-rated, under-acting John Cusak survives to annoy me with his smugness in other films. My sister in law, who for some reason doesn't really care for me, I know I'm quite lovable, I don't get it either, wanted to watch New Moon again, so I decided that to metaphorically mend some fences, I would go watch it with her. I, like you heterosexual readers, thought that twilight was nothing but harlequin for middle aged housewives and teenage girls staring vampires instead of pirates, but let me tell you how wrong I was. This movie was excellent! It starts off with Bella, a pretty emo chick who has acting depressed down to a T, feeling bad about something, probably her relationship with Edward the gay vampire. He sparkles in the sunlight and looks brooding throughout, very sexy. He loves Bella so much that he decides it is best if he leaves for some reason, some reason I can't seem to recall just this moment, but that just leaves Bella home alone with the dog boy Jacob, who is also in love with her. Jacob finds out that he is a dog like other members of his tribe and spends his days taking his shirt off and hitting on Bella. Bella is sad that Edward has left decides to kill herself because she thinks he is dead, or something, it's all kinda fuzzy except the parts with the guys walking around shirtless. Romeo thinks that Juliet is dead so he decides he needs to kill himself by going to Rome and telling the red eyed vampires to kill him, and if they won't then Romeo will go walk into the sun were everyone will see him sparkle and know he is a vampire(?) Then the red eyes will have to kill him to protect their secrets. Juliet finds out about this and runs to fair Verona to tell Romeo that she is not dead because phones don't work with vampires, kind of like mirrors. Juliet appears just in time and saves Romeo from sparkling, naturally the house of Montague doesn't like that a Capulet knows that they are vampires and tell Romeo that Juliet will either be turned into a vampire, or die. I seemed to remember at the end of the book both star-cross'd lover died, but thus is cinema. They go back to Washington, or Oregon, or wherever it is that the sun never shines and naturally Count Paris the dog faced boy doesn't really like that his Juliet loves another. The dog and the gay fight but stop cause Juliet starts to cry, just like during the entire movie, and that is all until the next movie.<br />The pure emotional conflict felt throughout this movie tugged at my heart strings, I didn't realize it was possible to feel so much for the characters on the screen. Bravo Mr. Shakespeare for teaching me about love and tragedy. Truly a classic for the ages and fun for the whole family! This movie get my highest rating ever for a non-Kubrick film: seventeen thumbs up. Zodiachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10893578928413094464noreply@blogger.com1