5.16.2011

Back by popular demand: More Boobs!

This is the Zodiac speaking...
After receiving such overwhelming attention to my last post I decided to follow my mother's advice "Make sure you flaunt the titties, son." Maybe that wasn't something that she said, maybe.
 "My mother told me that too! "

Only this time instead of looking at films that have boob shots, let's look at some of our best endowed actresses, and the things they are famous for.
 
Jennifer Love Hewitt

 


She'll never be the one accepting an Oscar, or an Emmy, an any type of accolades that involve great acting. That being said however, she'll always be able to find some sort of work. No matter how asinine the premise.
  I don't know why the Ghost's always talk to me?
 
We watched her grow up on Party of Five, well you watched her, I actually had better shit to do, like, well, nothing really. Just wouldn't be caught dead watching that show. She followed up her turn as a child star with more grown up fare, playing the teen protagonist in campy horror movies. Which gave us some of the best cleavage jiggles in the history of film. 
I'm emoting!!!
 
After that she did a few other films that no one remembers, and a television show that we wish we didn't. All she seems to be known for now is some tabloid calling her fat.
  Phat Titties!
 
Salma Hayek
 
The Latin flavor that graces our list comes from a beautiful actress that I remember mostly for her roles as a stripper.
   a stripper angel
This Vampire doesn't sparkle
 
But unlike the last actress on our list this girl actually has some acclaim attached to her name. She garnered Academy attention with her portrayal of Frida Kahlo. Something about making hot chicks ugly really calls attention to an actress. FYI she does appear nude in the film, if you can get past the whole eyebrow thing.
  And it is hard to get past
 
Charlize Theron
 
Speaking of making yourself ugly for a role in order to gain a little gold statue, I submit for your pleasure, a woman who actually won the Oscar.
   What some people will do for attention...
 
Charlize's career is full of great material for the spank bank, she's a fucking model for God's sake. A personal favorite of mine is the rather crappy remake of a cartoon Aeon Flux.
  Can't figure out why this didn't make $100 million, oh yeah,
the story was terrible. But still...
 
You can see Ms. Theron nude in the devils advocate, although you really don't want to. It was a really good movie and all, it's just that the circumstances behind the nudity... well let us not dwell on the negative, let's just look at another shot of her.
  Oh the glorious side boob, is there anything better?
 
Scarlett Johansson
 
Scarlett first came to my attention while watching a movie called Ghost World, which I only watched because my girlfriend at the time was a big Steve Buscemi fan and I was trying to get laid. Mission accomplished by the way. However it wasn't until recently that a really took note of all her talents.
   Pictured: Talent
 
The best thing about her is that she seems to know what it is that is making her a star and is by no means shy when it comes to showing it. Be it in period pieces...
  huh huh huh... period
 
Or even the more family friendly fare...
  Bet I know this kid's first memory
 
Whatever might be the next shitty film she undertakes, we all just sit and pray that she never forgets why she is famous.
  Whatever that reason might be
 
Thus ends my opus, and will head back to writing all that shit that none of you want to read, chances are you're not even reading this now and all you did was look at the pretty pictures. Know your audience, that's what they say.
  What to talk about next?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

A post after my own heart... Miss you Zodiac. Love you more.

P said...

hehe, technically, i love him more

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