Ode to the Boobies

This is the Zodiac speaking...
Taking a suggestion from my friend, Mrs. Boobies, I decided to write a post on the most glorious boob shots in film history.
 Not the type I'm talking about

Where oh where to begin, how about some breasts that are part of Americana.
Phoebe Cates in Fast Times
Take a shitty movie about coming of age high schooler's set in the early 1980's and you have, we can all agree, a complete waste of time.  Spicoli, before he learned to act, pissing off Mr. Hand, and Judge Reinhold trying to act cool, poised as the next leading man. What's the best way to describe cinema of this fare?
If only there were some way to make kids actually want to watch a movie like this... Shit, I've got it! Boooooobs!!!!
  Those are the ones I'm talking about!
Every copy of this movie on VHS was impossible to watch because of stress lines on the tape. You see kids, before the Internet was a bastion for free porn, we all had to watch garbage like this. And because the scene is only thirty seconds long, give or take, and keeps getting interrupted by Judge Reinhold beating off, it was necessary to pause the tape at the sweet spot, causing stress on it, resulting in visible lines on the screen. We've seen now how boobs can save a bad movie is there a thing as boobs in a good movie?
  Boobs make every movie good, no matter how absurd.
Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams
in Brokeback Mountain
A movie all about a love affair between two cowboys is not the type of thing we are talking about here, Zodiac. Maybe it's because this movie does have some rough man on man sex that Ang Lee decreed to the heavens "There must be BOOBS!"
   And Boobs there were, and it was good
Maybe it's just me, but there is something sexier about these mainstream actress' going topless for the sake of art that turns me on more than some ex-playmate whose casting couched her way into the stardom, allegedly.
  Shhh... She has no idea I'm talking about her.
Not to mention spending three terrible years watching a boobless show on UPN wanting to see some sort of nudity, from anyone.  Especially when the girl in question is supposed to be playing the slut role. Or the Girl next door whose all pure and innocent, I'd of taken either.
Check out   "The Gift  "
"Huh huh huh, I saw Joey's boob's " 
And we all saw yours.
Gratuitous Boobs for the
sake of gratuity
Is there ever a time in your life where you sit back and look at the decisions you've made and feel ashamed.
  Don't know what I'm talking about?
A personal sort of spank bank fare that makes you feel embarrassed while taking it to the video counter? 
I could just be some sort of pervert?
Something that you would never admit in public that you watched, over, and over, again?
  I thought it was about Robert Johnson, I swear
Maybe I'm the only one who has ever felt confused?
  Okay, this was really just for shit's and giggle's
I guess what I'm getting at here is that as long as I have testicles, I am going to want to watch movies, no matter how bad they might be, with boobs. Be it a side boob, a little bit of cleavage, or the full blown titty. There will never be a film to bad to watch, as long as the mammories remain ample, I like asses too.
  Yes that is a Bikini, you're so smart and funny!

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