Work is over again for the next week so I finally find time to return to my posts, the World has waited with baited breath. Well maybe not that anxiously, but I assure you, someone, me, has been really pissed that there has not been an update for a few days. If I knew were this Zodiac lived I would drive over there and threaten him with some sort of personal violence, and, failing that, I might just send him a strongly worded email to myfakeemail1969@Gmail.com, that would show him. Incidentally that is a good way to get a hold of me with any ideas or the like that you might have. If you haven't stopped reading after that ham fisted attempt to get some sort of feedback from you people, then good 'cause today we'll continue with our look into shitty movie remakes. If you haven't guessed based off of the ad on the side then today we take a look at #4...
The Day the Earth Stood Still
What we have here is one of the first science fiction films that served as a warning to the future. Having not just ten years earlier dropping atomic weapons on Japan this served as a cautionary tale about mankind's destructive nature. Klattu, an alien, comes to Earth with his giant robot companion, Gort, representing a federation of other alien planets who have been watching our planet and not liking the results of our interactions with each other. What do we do to strange men who wish to spread a message of peace and tolerance? We fucking shoot them, that's what.
He's got a flower! Kill him!
Now shooting an advanced species who has mastered intergalactic travel is usually considered a bad idea, luckily for everyone in this imaginary Earth, Klaatu was only wounded and stopped Gort from laser beaming the shit out of all of us. After spending some time boarding with humans, and stopping all mechanical and electrical machines on Earth for one hour to prove his powers, hence the title, Klaatu gets tracked down by the government and shot again.
It worked so well the first time you knucklehead!
Staving off death for a few moments he tells the World that if they continue their aggression towards space then Gort was going to destroy the Earth. Pretty scary look at ourselves in the mirror, and from one of those cheap sci-fi films too. How could we possibly fuck this up? Let's make it about environmental issues instead of nuclear, and let's have it star Keanu Reeves.
As Klaatu, not the more obvious choice of Gort.
Showing no human emotions and offering no chance for redemption Keanu is merely there to save animals from the destruction, cause we all know that animals don't do anything to destroy the environment. It takes the the Fresh Prince's kid and the hot chick from A Beautiful Mind to convince him that the world is worth saving.
A little preventive genocide isn't always a bad thing.
Having no emotional tie to anything in this movie makes it painful to watch, and I actually found myself rooting for the alien nanobots, yes, there were nanobots. The heart of the original is the idea that we are capable of redeeming our murderous ways, even after we straight up murder the harbinger of the message. The story is all about second chances, not just an excuse to force some bullshit hot button with a bunch of CGI and destruction.
Movie histories smuggest monster