Spoiler Alert! The Four Greatest Twist Endings in Film History

This is the Zodiac speaking...

Disregard the buy it on Amazon link I have to the left of here, it doesn't pertain to the subject at hand, I just wanted everyone to have another chance at purchasing this fine piece of cinematic history. We are here to look at the greatest twist endings in film history, and, not so surprisingly, we only have one made by M. Night Shyamalan. A good twist to the end of your film is one of the hardest things to do, just ask the director of Signs, but when pulled off correctly, can make it shine with the repeat viewing sparkle that all movie studios love to see. I've decided that it would be in our best interests as movieophiles to take a look at four noteworthy times that "twist" has graced us. I really hope this goes without saying but the following post does contain SPOILER ALERTS.

Psycho (1960)

The movie starts a woman, Marion, fleeing from her employer after stealing a sizable amount of cash that was intended to be the down payment on a house, a house purchased by a rich, drunk, Texan stereotype who is purchasing it as a wedding gift for his daughter, another cliche.

 Cliched because he's a Rock Star, no racist comments please
She pulls over into a motel, the Bates Motel, where she meets Norman. A brutal stabbing in the shower later, we have a private detective and Marion's sister stumble upon the motel. After checking with the nervous Norman they grow suspicious and decide to go talk to his mother, and that leads us to... SPOILER ALERT... They remade this movie almost shot for shot in 1998. Instead of the charming and boyish Anthony Perkins, we have an in between shitty comedies Vince Vaughn. Part of the twist in the original is that superstar Janet Leigh gets murdered in the first forty minutes, I couldn't wait to see Anne Heche get hacked apart and dumped into a bog.
 Oh the Horror!
The Usual Suspects (1995)
A star studded cast, and Stephen Baldwin, star in this crime thriller where five criminals are rounded up by the most nefarious criminal around, Keyser Soze, to pull off a theft of $100 million dollars cash, and if that wasn't enough, $100 million dollars worth of cocaine. The story is told in flashbacks to the police by Verbal Kint, the lone survivor of the heist.
We see how each one of these men came to wrong Soze and the planning of the crime. After the story is told and Kint is released on bail, the guy who voices Fat Tony on the Simpsons figures out the lies that he has just been told, and tries to catch Verbal before he disappears forever... SPOILER ALERT... They blew it up, damn them, damn them all to Hell! Heston's journey into the forbidden zone causes the realization that it was Earth all along. The remnants of the Statue of Liberty stare him in the face as he beats his defeated fists against the wet sand. Holy shit right?
  You damn dirty Apes!!!
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Finally we get to the M. Night film. The sixth sense is about a old looking Bruce Willis who plays a child psychologist who gets shot by Marky Mark's brother. After some time passes he meets up with a kid who says he can see ghosts. The ghosts want him to help them get closure, and because a child has never been known to lie, Die Hard goes out of his way to help kid, help the ghosts, help themselves, in getting over their hangups that are preventing them from crossing over.  
This guys brother, you remember him.
Bruce is so caught up in helping the kid that no one will acknowledge him, not his wife, not the kid's mom, nobody. After successfully helping some ghosts deal with being dead, we have, surprise, surprise... SPOILER ALERT... nothing but a string of shitty twist ending movies, each one more ridiculous than the last. Shaymalan blew his creative load with his first offering and instead of trying some other type of genre, he keeps trying to recapture that "clever" tag in movies such as Unbreakable, Signs, and The Village. After four failed attempts, could be more, honestly I stopped watching them, he finally branches out to remake a live action remake of a Nickelodeon cartoon.
 You were the real devil in that elevator.

Fight Club (1999)
David Fincher's mind fuck about making soap stars Edward Norton and Brad Pitt as Edward Norton. Not in some sort of everybody's Bob Dylan I'm Not There bullshit, but as in they are both parts of Norton's split psyche. Whenever we see Brad Pitt doing anything, the people beyond the fourth wall are seeing Norton do it. It takes the entire movie and a gunshot to the face for him to realize that this Tyler Durden he is watching and fighting with, is actually himself.
 Pictured: Neither Bob Dylan or Edward Norton
Norton's character suffers from, among other things, insomnia, and because he can't sleep he starts to attend meetings for people suffering from various illnesses. The only thing that gives him the ability to sleep is receiving pity from people who are worse off than he is, which leads us to... SPOILER ALERT... Meatloaf has man tits. One of the groups he attends is for men who have testicular cancer, and because they don't produce enough testosterone naturally, they are forced to take testosterone shots, which causes their body to produce more estrogen, ie bada boom, Meatloaf with bitch tits.
  Like these only not as hot


P said...

Hahaha great post kid. Lucky for me I have seen all of these, so no spoiler here...

Cameron said...

Hey I can finally read your blogs on americas got hobbies but I can't comment yet. Your streaker stalkers last comment was a little scary

Zodiac said...

Cyber stalker, yeah I read it and am trying to come up with something to say back. Good that everyone can read it though.

Cameron said...

I'm not sure how swype got streaker out of cyber. I guess I need to read before I post

Nman said...

What about the movie BASIC?